Perfect Love

Idols: the golden calf in my living room

2010-11-30T08:32:00.000-08:00

In Exodus 32, the Israelites have been brought out of Egypt and they are waiting for Moses to return to them. He's meeting God on a mountain. The Israelites make a statue of a calf out of gold and worship it with singing and dancing. The Lord sees this, and He is angry.

Today is the same as yesterday...God still hates anything that comes before Him. Because nothing in this world is worthy of being placed higher than God. Yet each and everyday, we place other things higher than God. I should know....I have idols too.

My calf statue is silver not golden and it's sleek, flat, flips open so I can stare into it's glowing screen. I get lost inside of it... I travel the world wide web.

I seek the glowing face of a computer screen instead of seeking the face of God. The face of Moses shone like the sun when he came down from that mountain...my face stops shining the minute I press shut down. No matter how secretly we convince ourselves, nothing on earth compares to the glory of God.

The best hours of my days are sucked away by this device. I am sucked up by this device. I fall into the web instead of falling into God. I draw near to the computer instead of drawing near to the One who died for me. And just as He was with the Israelites, the Lord is angry. He whispers softly to me to return to Him.

Every morning, I head down the stairs and slip into the familiar chair, the light shining bright in my face. My fingers click against the keyboard. I know this computer like an old friend...a friend who betrays me.

The computer numbs the pain for a while, the pain that tells me that I am not doing what I am supposed to. I'm not doing what I was created to do. I am not being who He created me to be.

Moses destroys the Golden Calf. I click Shut Down. Moses climbs a mountain, I climb the stairs, and we get on our knees....to worship The Only One who truly deserves it.

Success

2010-10-23T04:51:00.000-07:00

To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every Falling Leaf

2010-10-08T05:56:00.000-07:00

photo credit: lunanueva on ihearti

I think we have forgotten how incredible God is.

I was at my Church youth group on Tuesday for the first time, and the subject was worship. They talked about putting on a show. They talked about empty worship. They talked about how God can see our hearts and that's truly what matters when we worship. But you know what I was thinking?

Why in the world do we find it hard to worship GOD?

I think of the times where I just didn't feel like singing to God or the times I'd rather be surfing the net than reading my Bible...and I'm glad He's changing me from self absorbed to God absorbed. But as my worship becomes more real with each song I sing, I wonder again...

Why? Why do we find worship so hard?

Is it because we are too tied up in ourselves? All the thoughts are racing through our heads, what are they going to think of me or let me just put my hands in the air and pretend because I'm just so tired today and we have a whole bunch of excuses to why we can't worship, not today, not now.

Why? This is GOD we're talking about. And as I ponder this, I suddenly realize it all has to do with pride.

When we have trouble worshiping, it's because we're too prideful to lay down our every concern, desire and need...it's because we're too prideful to lay down our reputation or our outer looks to go all out for Jesus Christ. It's because we're too wrapped up in how "holy" we look that our hearts can never be held up to Him. It's all because of pride.

It's also because we don't really know Him. Oh, I know we say we do. We might know who we think He is. Or who others have told us He is. But do we really know Him? Not if we're having trouble worshiping. Because once you meet the living God, the real God, the God that sent His son to die for us...you can't help worshiping. You can't help be amazed...because He's truly stunning, truly incredible, truly awesome.

The evidence of His glory is in every blade of grass and every ray of sunshine. It's in every black night and every shinning star, in each ray of moonlight and in every old tree and every falling autumn leave. The evidence is the blue sky, the blowing wind, the birds that fly in perfect formation, going south. The evidence is every child's smile and every laugh and bare feet running through the grass and in the snow falling softly, hushing every sound.

That's the evidence of God. And when we really see all of this, really see God's fingerprints all over every little thing, well, worship just flows. Because of who God is.

When we really meet God, we can't help but be amazed. We can't help but worship the One who has made everything that is, has been, and ever will be.

Perfect Love is Under Renovation!

2010-10-07T07:33:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to update all of my readers on the happenings of the Perfect Love website. If you subscribe by email, you may not have been visiting the site lately, so you probably have not noticed that Perfect Love is going through a lot of changes!

What changes?

Music: I have added some soft piano music that starts automatically on the main site.
About page: a page that talks about the blog and the author of the blog (me).
Start Here page: a page for those who are new to Perfect Love and would like to read some of the most popular posts. The "Start Here" page will also provide some information on Christianity and how to become a Christian, for those who might visit the page who are not Christians or have grown lukewarm in their faith and want to recommit their life to Christ.
Resources page: a page that will be full of resources that have helped me immensely on my walk with Christ such as websites, blogs, and books.

How cool is that? Check out the blog website some time (you can do this easily by clicking the title of the blog post that arrives in your email box). Also, I invite you (beg you) to comment on what you like and dislike about the blog by clicking the blog post title and posting a comment. How do you post a comment? Scroll to the bottom the post where is says Comments: O comments (or however many) and click on the "O comments". That'll send you to a comment box. Thanks! It's nice to know that people are out there and reading.

Anyways, hope you're enjoying what Perfect Love has to offer you.

Laura

She's In Love

2010-10-07T06:18:00.001-07:00

photo credit: lunanueva on iheartit

I was reading one of Leslie Ludy's books when I came across the lyrics to a song called She's In Love by a band called According to John. When I read them, I thought immediately of how different the state of Christian femininity would be today if all girls lived their life in this way. These lyrics paint a picture of a truly Christ consumed, set apart girl. (To hear the actual song, click here)

She's In Love

What a beautiful smile

A radiant girl

Fell in love first time I saw her

She stays on my mind

I’d give anything

To know everything about her

There’s light in her eyes

And I know it’s all for him

She carries on and on

Like he was her best friend

She’s in love (echo)

It’s not hard to see

But I would like to believe it was with me

Someone got a hold of her heart

And he won’t let go

And I know

She’s in love

She looks to the sky

When she talks about him

She believes he hung the moon

Said he had to go away

She waits for his return

Says he’s coming for her soon

How can this be fair?

This guy can walk on water

Don’t guess I’ve got a prayer

He’s written love letters - to reach her

She worships the ground he walks on

She just smiles when she says his name

It’s a match made in heaven

I can’t compete with the King of Kings

The Room

2010-10-07T06:11:00.000-07:00

"The Room" by Joshua Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalogue system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed."

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger," "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

"No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

Anything It Takes

2010-10-02T05:56:00.001-07:00

This is an incredible video. Enjoy.

[ email subscribers click here to see the video ]

Warrior-Poet Manhood

2010-09-27T15:22:00.000-07:00

Where are the warrior poets?

Where are the men who are

part warrior, part poet

Men who are tender, loving, compassionate

peace loving, pure, and gentle

Men of honour, strength, and integrity

ready to fight for what is good?

Where are men who strive to be pure and holy?

Men who will defend femininity,

instead of trying to conquer it?

Men who protect all that is pure and beautiful in this world

and have no mercy for all that isn't?

Where are the men who are in love with their Saviour,

men who have a intimate relationship with the King

men who seek His approval and His alone

where are these men?

Where are the men who do not search for

girls of worldly beauty, but instead search for

girls if Christlike character

and passionate love of the King?

Where are the men who wait for their future wives

who are fully devoted and wholly in love

with a girl they have never seen before

a girl they have never met?

Where are the men who honour

the one that they’ll one day marry?

to honour her in every

thought word and action

to save himself for her.

Where are the men who

Help the defenceless even when no one is watching?

Where are the men who are willing to help

Those who can never give a word of thanks?

Where are the men who dig into His Word?

Search for the truth

stand strong in the truth?

Where are the men who dwell in the

love of the Lord, let it overflow

so that it touches all who meets them?

Where are the men who do not conform

to the patterns of this world

men who are not ridden with lust

who do not lower themselves to meet the expectations

of this culture?

Where are the men

who eagerly seek out the Lord

seek to know the one true Prince

so that they can be princes themselves?

Where are the men

willing to give up everything

to be moulded in the image

of the King of Kings?

Where are the men

who will lay aside all comfort

surrender every desire and dream

for the cause of Christ?

I am looking for you

I am waiting for you

and I ask again...

Where are the warrior poets?

Something Out of Nothing : a Letter

2010-09-16T12:29:00.000-07:00

The little plans I tried to carry

Have failed
O' Dear God.
But, I will not sorrow
I will pause a little while
And try again tomorrow.

- Anushree Karnani

Dear Friend,

I read your blog post days too late and my heart broke and cracked and split and trembled, just a little, with each word. I read of the way you want to hide...hide who you are, hide yourself behind these walls and never tell anybody about the deepest parts of you, the parts that hold Him, so that you won't be hurt. I read of your fear...I read of your shame...and your words reach the deepest part of me, the part that holds Him, and I really do tremble. Because I understand, far too well. Your heart mirrors mine, in these moments. Sometimes I try to hide too.

"It's stupid," you write, "why should I care what people think? Why should it matter if they think I'm an idiot for believing?" And that's the question that always bounces around inside of me...why should it matter? Why should it care? The God of the universe loves me...He can't take His eyes off of me. He loves me so dearly that he knows how many hairs I have on my head and he stores each of my tears in a bottle. He loves me. So why do I care what they think? Why do I need their love, when I have all the love in the world in easy access to me? Sometimes I wonder why I cannot just accept it, accept the love He's given me. But I build up walls...and His love can break down any wall, if I let Him. He is gentle. He won't force it on me.

Friend, I don't have an answer to those questions either. I really don't. But we have to remember that God doesn't want us to seek answers...He wants us to seek Him. Sometimes it's hard to remember that He's the only answer we really need.

You asked me to pray for people like you, people who struggle to stay strong in the Lord. People who fight to go against the flow each day...and for the most part they lose. People who let others push them around, let the world mold them into the person the world thinks they should be. People who get so lost that they feel like they're not the person God wants them to be - they're out of God's plan, out of God's reach.

I pray for a person like that every day...and that person is me. I'm struggle to stay strong in the Lord. I lose the fight. I dance for the world instead of my Father, I let the world's dark hands mold me instead of His perfect ones. I get lost. I am one of those people, and I often feel like I'm out of God's plan in every way. I try so hard and when I fail, it hurts.

The truth is, you can be outside of God's will -- His will for your life and His will for you as a person -- but you can never be outside of his reach. He's always there, holding on to you. From the lyrics of a song by Matt Redman, "He never lets go, through the calm and through the storm." God never lets go, even when you aren't the person you could be. That doesn't matter to Him. He loves you anyways. God loves you just as you are...but He loves you too much to leave you there.

For someone like me, this is hard to grasp. There's something that the world has whispered into me that says, "You have to do something to be enough." The world tells us that what we do is who we are, but that's not true. God says it isn't. And even if who we are isn't looking so pretty, He still loves us. It doesn't mean He wants us to stay that way. He knows the freedom that comes with being in sync with Him...and He loves us. That's something we can count on every moment of every day.

Sometimes I think we fail at being who God wants us to be because we're trying to be so many different people at once. There's a part of us who wants to be the person God wants us to be...and then there's a part of us that also wants to be cool, funny, and accepted. There's a part of us that wants to be God's girl...and the World's girl. Both at the same time...which is impossible. It's like sticking a square peg into a round hole, and sometimes that's why we fail. We're trying so hard to be the person the world wants us to be that when we try God's way, we have no energy left. We fall.

My friend, you wrote that you admire how I stand strong, even when everyone else is laughing. Sometimes I do. But for the most part, their laughter makes me break. For the most part, I am silenced by fear...fear of a bunch of other teenagers, people who say their way is better than God's way, people who are just scared themselves.

And I know God could tell you that there is rarely a day I don't come home and cry out to Him, saying, "Lord, Lord, I failed you again, I failed you!" And there isn't a day that His gentle whisper doesn't reply, "You failed because it was you who was trying so hard. Lean on me. You will always fail if you lean on your own understanding. You will always fall if you count on your own strength. You are too small, child, you are too weak...when you are alone. But when you live in Me, you are beautiful, and you are strong. If you let my strong hands guide you, you can be everything I want you to be. I have plans for you...I have dreams for you, daughter, dreams bigger than you could ever fathom. You just have to trust me, and realize that my love is enough. My love is enough...so accept it. Accept my love, accept my strength, and live in faith... it is then, my child, you will move mountains."

Our Creator says He loves us...He says that if we put ourselves in His hands, He will mold us into who we're meant to be. He says His love will pour down and wash us clean...He'll make us new. Our God is a God who can make something out of nothing...we just have to believe Him.

Your Friend,

Something Better

2010-08-24T14:36:00.000-07:00

Note: Here I am, back after a thirty day computer fast! It went well, and I'm excited to get back into the swing of things here on Perfect Love. I hope your summer has gone well and I hope you enjoy your last few weeks!

The angel told her she was to have a son and I know I would have been shocked if it were me. She must have been. Here she was, soon to be married to some wonderful guy named Joseph...all nervous about the wedding day, still dreaming dreams about her future, about her life. She had so much in store for her, so many possibilities...so many dreams. Having a baby out of wedlock wasn't one of them. Mary was having one of those seasons in life where everything seems to be rolling along just perfectly when suddenly...boom...God comes in. In a mere second, her perfectly constructed world blew apart. Shattered.

She was going to have a baby.

Now, I don't think anybody knows exactly how old Mary was when the angel of the Lord appeared to her and told her she was going to have a child. The estimation that people have is somewhere in between 13 and 16. That means she was still young and confused when she said yes to the Lord's angel and began to carry baby Jesus in her womb. She said yes, even though His plans weren't her plans and things probably weren't working out exactly the way she wanted them to.

Her plans were in shambles, but she still said yes.

Mary didn't know how she fit into the great, grand plans of the Lord... she just knew she was pregnant with a son. All she knew is that she was having a baby, she wasn't married, and she could be killed for this...I bet she was scared. Confused, uncertain, and definitely scared.

Joseph could have killed her for what everyone thought she'd done. He could have had her publicly shamed and stoned to death. Yet, Joseph was a man of character, and he decided he'd divorce her quietly. I can't imagine the hurt Mary must have been feeling...watching her love walk away.

Well, suddenly Joseph's plans were busted when the Lord told him to marry her anyway. Marry her anyway? After what she did? I'm sure Joseph had so many questions, even when the Lord told him she was a virgin, with child by the Holy Spirit. Even with the confirmation that his finance was telling the truth, he was probably so confused. The Lord told him to go ahead and marry her...she was pure.

He obeyed. It probably wasn't Joseph's picture perfect plan for marriage, either. But I know if know God at all I know that He's mighty great at taking plans and jumbling them into something completely unexpected, something that might look messy at first hand. But our God is an abstract artist, and though it sure didn't seem so at the time, God turned Mary and Joseph's broken plans it into something beautiful.

When we turn our lives over to God and let Him write the chapters of our life, you can guarantee things won't turn out exactly the way we imagined they would. But if we trust Him with all our heart, we'll find that the story we would have scripted ourselves could never measure up to the story the Author can write for us. If we trust the Lord instead of ourselves with the pen, He'll script us a better story than we ever could have dreamed of in the first place.

Psalm 139

2010-07-12T08:05:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder if God really knows and cares about you?

Psalm 139 can answer your question.

[email subscribers click here]

The Daisy

2010-07-10T06:57:00.000-07:00

{ this poem was written by Kristina at A Joy Walk }

I want to be a daisy
unassuming, humble,
Willing to share my joyful face
wherever I am found.

In a prairie of grass
Unseen,
And alone,
I will tilt my face
toward the Son.

Bordered by peonies showy dresses
or the scandalous red of poppies
I’ll not be intimidated.

I won’t droop in the rain.

I will stand tall
And outlast them all.

I will pretend nothing.

I will smile

And be content to be me:
A bloom,
A delight to my Maker.

I want to be a daisy.
Washed pure white
With a heart of gold.

by Kristina, A Joy Walk

Beautiful Love

2010-07-07T16:12:00.000-07:00

Life is painful, sometimes. I think it always seems like you could be doing a better job of something...a better job of life, a better job of you. Human beings always long for something better, to be something better. Then we get in the presence of Jesus, and I know that sometimes I feel so small because I'm looking at Jesus and in His presence I'm just so imperfect and broken and He's just so beautiful, so beautiful. And sometimes it just feels like I'm not anything, not next to His perfection.

Yet, He loves us. And that's the weird thing. He loves us with this crazy love, this love that doesn't make any sense and He says He is enthralled with our beauty...my beauty? It boggles my mind, because isn't that the hardest thing to accept? That we're beautiful? It's the hardest thing for me, to think that's there's something beautiful about me, something lovable. And when I see this man, this beautiful man who loves me, and He's always loved me and He was hanging on the cross thinking of me as He died for me...it makes me sad, yet happy, at the same time. Because even through all that pain and sorrow He did it for me and He rose for me, rose from the dead, alive as He ever was. Even though I can't see Him, He's alive, as He's always there by my side. And it seems like if He did all that for me that I should do something for Him...not just something, but everything I can. Everything in my strength and power and then I can surrender my life to Him and in His strength glow with Him, from the inside out, just glow and show the world this man who is God, who is beautiful.

This man was God, because God became a man, for me. He, a King, was born a baby in a stable surrounded by animals, for me. He was rejected and humiliated and hated and pushed away...He was mocked and ridiculed and called a fake...for me. He was crucified, nails through His hands and feet and a wound on his side and the blood ran down and I can't imagine the agony of the pain that would have filled Him, this beautiful perfect man dying like a criminal. He died for me, and He died for you, and that, itself, is beautiful and makes me realize how undeserving I am, how broken I am, how much I don't measure up.

Yet, it's okay. He tells me it's okay. It's okay to make mistakes. Because of this grace thing, this crazy love He's give me and this gift of grace has made me snow white pure and beautiful again. Mankind's sin was punishable only by death. So He came, perfect, a King into this broken world and He died so that we wouldn't have to. What kind of love is that? It's perfect love. It's the kind of love that moves girls hearts when they watch Titanic, because Jack loved Rose so much he died for her. It's the kind of love that makes people love Edward, because he's strong and he's willing to do anything for Bella, even die for her if need be. Yet the love of our Savior is more than this...it's the perfect love, the only love that will ever fulfill anyone's heart. The love people look for every day of their lives, they look for it and they can't find it, maybe because they're looking in all the wrong places.

And once you find this love, you can't stay still. You can't just sit there and feel it, accept it, be amazed by it. It's not enough. He died so we could live...He died so we could live for HIM. He died so that we could serve Him, become like Him, surrender to Him so that He takes our body and lives in us so that when the world looks at our lives... they don't see us, they see Him. Because I know there's so many times I've shone ugly of self when I could shine beautiful of Him, if only I'd give up the fact that I want people to notice me and love me and accept me. All those times I told Jesus He wasn't enough. And now I realize that living for myself has been empty and that He's a cause that's not just worth dying for, but living for. And even if the whole world turns away from me it's okay because I have this man that loved me enough to die on that cross and rise again. Even if I'm all alone there's this one person who is always with me, this one man who is also God and He is with me every second of every day. He is with me and He loves me just as I am, but He loves me too much to leave me that way.

You know, it's so strange, this world, this life. How every person on this earth is looking for that perfect love but maybe they just won't admit it. Or sometimes they don't even know what they're looking for yet they're searching, searching, searching. They have this hunger for this love...this acceptance...but they never find it, not really, not truly. That's because they're looking in the wrong places. That's because they haven't really me our Lord.

There are many beautiful things in life...but there is one thing I know for sure. He died for me because He loves me. He died for you because He loves you. And that, in itself, is beautiful.

Obsessed

2010-07-01T16:36:00.000-07:00

This is an incredible video.

This is what I've been trying to say on my blog...this is the message. This is the truth. And if you read nothing on my blog expect for one thing, LET IT BE THIS VIDEO.

This is the truth I've been trying to express...not very well at times.

This is the message of living ALL OUT FOR GOD.

I cried when I saw this, because I realized all I had been holding back. I realized how much I am not. When I saw this I realized that I better make a change because someday Jesus is going to come back and I WANT TO BE READY.

{for my email subscribers, click here to see the video}

Look Up : How to Hold On

2010-06-30T11:16:00.000-07:00

It is over.Not just for a summer, but forever.Elementary School...late slips, pencils, coat hooks and backpacks, indoor shoes and math textbooks, well, they're gone for the summer. But for us Grade Eight's, some of those things are gone forever. Yesterday was our last day of Elementary School. I was privileged enough to spend it with a few of my friends. I learned so many things in the past little while, but the thing I learned the most was that time won't stop and wait for you...the faster you go, the faster it slips away.
We all had been waiting so long for the end, waiting in anticipation with our hearts lifted, hoping for something better, thinking foolishly when something ends and something else begins everything bad will melt away. And maybe it will, for a little while. But if we aren't satisfied with now...well, we'll never be satisfied.
If you were to ask me of my regrets of Elementary school, I would say this...What I regret most of all, more than anything, is that I didn't stop and rest. That I didn't look up. That I didn't thank God for every moment. Because no matter how hard school was, no matter how many tears and hurts I experienced, there was also laughter. There were also smiles. And there were also beautiful things, every day of my life. I just wish I would have realized it...I wish I would have held on. I wish I wouldn't have let time slip away.
We have graduated now, and yesterday was the last day. It's a sad time...that's for sure. Everything that I know to be regular will be blasted to pieces in just a few short months. Everything I know to be true...my friends, my school, the rhythm of a predictable day...it'll all be gone, changed, split up, different. Yet, my God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He holds my hand. And He will remind me, every day I have to come, to look up.
If you let the chaos of life penetrate the walls of your heart, you will break down. If you let yourself speed up and never rest in the moment, you will burn out. If you don't hold on to time, it will slip away.
I think there is only one way to hold on...only one way to truly feel every moment to the core of your being. I think there is only one thing we can do if we want to catch time before it slips away. In every moment of your life, you have to remember... look up.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." - Matthew 11:28-29

Three Questions

2010-06-26T10:04:00.000-07:00

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All Things

2010-06-22T14:27:00.000-07:00

We were walking down the road, talking about the future.

"I want to be a teacher...I feel like God's calling me to be a teacher, or something along that road," I say, "But I'm just not sure." Footsteps echo on ash fault, the earth's breath plays with my hair.

"More than anything, I want to change teenagers lives by helping them meet the real, living Christ. Yet, I don't really see many teacher's that are truly changing students lives. Yes, they may influence them slightly...but most kids hate their teachers. I don't want to become a teacher if all I'm going to do is help kids learn History." I say this, thinking, worried.

There is this heartbeat in me that wants to show others what I've found. God, real and alive. Not just the empty, far away God you find in Catholic schools and churches today...the real one. I want kids to see that when they meet the real God, they are forever changed. They'll want to know Him more than anything. And to know this God and truly follow Him, they must live a life radically different than the world around them.

"Oh, if only you knew... I think every day of my life, seeing my friends. I want to become a teacher, and change people. Yet, for some reason I don't think I can." I say, "I just don't have that much faith in myself."

Wham! Right to the heart. I just don't have that much faith in myself.

And I shouldn't. "In yourself?" God whispers to my heart. "Have faith in me, child, not yourself. If you depend on your own strength, you will fall. Depend on me and you'll fly."

Because really and truly I can do nothing apart from Christ. I am nothing apart from Christ. I contain no beauty without Him. It's only when He lives in me that I can radiate true beauty from within. I have to have faith in Him.

I don't have to believe in myself to change lives through teaching...I only have to believe in Him. I have to have faith in Him because

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Phillipians 4:13

True Beauty

2010-06-19T12:36:00.000-07:00

This is a video that is meant for girls, but the basic message is excellent for men and women and boys and girls alike. Enjoy.

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The Spirit is Willing

2010-06-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

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Be Radiant

2010-06-17T13:31:00.000-07:00

Tissue paper pages between my fingers, eyes that can barely focus on the page because of the bumps in the road. The yellow school bus whizzes by under trembling leaves, endless blue skies. I am inside it.

I hungrily read His letter, see what He has written to me. Feel His eyes reading over my shoulder.

What do you want me to understand, Lord? My voice is small beside Him.

His thundering voice only whispers, Read.

I read of His resurrection. I can nearly hear the angels voice, "He is not here." The women hear truth and run, afraid. So often I run away, afraid, when truth is spoken. So often I fight.

Then I see that over and over again, words repeat. I take notice. The King repeats His words so that I of little faith will understand. I think. "They did not believe..." the Bible says, so many times, again and again. When told, nobody believed that Christ was alive. The resurrection, not the crucification, is the core of Christianity. Without the resurrection, Jesus' life would have been in vain.

He rose, and they did not believe.

What are you saying to me, God? My voice comes again.

His light washes over me. They will not believe. His tender voice in the silence.

I close my eyes, for a second. Bus engine shudders and brakes screech, another child, another stop. I think of every person in my school who doesn't know Christ. I think of every person who "believes" in Him but doesn't know Him, which means they don't truly believe.

They do not believe, God speaks to me. Two thousand years have passes but the people are the same. So hesitant, so doubtful. My soul fills will sorrow. I don't know what to do, I say.

Silence.

What can I do, God? I ask, desperate for His saving touch.

Voices cut through the silence, laughter. The bus turns a corner and rumbles on.

His voice blocks out all noise. Be radiant.

Be radiant? My mind races. What can He mean? And just then, I know. I must shine for Him. I must allow Him to take over me, to light up my heart from the inside out so that all who look at me can see His light. A picture is worth a thousand words, but a life is worth a million.

Be radiant. Shine. Glow. Let me live in your heart so that when they look at you, they will see Me.

For isn't that what life is about? The crucifixion, the resurrection, all for the glory of God? Sin holds on to me, selfishness holds on to me, Satan whispers that I don't need to give it all to Him. Seeds of poison in my heart, they whisper I can do fine on my own.

But I can't.

A heavenly embrace, the bus stops, we file out. Towards school. I forget His voice for the rest of the day, again, and it pains me. But as I return home, God is still whispering. Be radiant.

To shine, I must give Him my life...everything. And there's a part of me that's not sure I want to give that up.

Be radiant.

He's still whispering, and He won't stop until my body heart mind and soul shines with Him.

Don't Play Games

2010-06-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

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Call To Anguish

2010-06-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

When I saw this video, I cried. I am not a person who normally cries, but this video spoke so strongly to me it was a stab in the heart.

We are living in a lukewarm generation. We are so concerned with our own problems, our own worries, our own selfish desires that we can't even get ourselves off of the computer to go and help save a dying world, a dying world, a world dying without Jesus Christ.

We have to feel the anguish. We have to feel the anguish, feel the pain that there are people out there that are dying without ever knowing Jesus Christ. We have to realize that when we call ourselves Christians, it's not so that God can make us happy but so that we can bring the world God, no matter how much pain it causes us, no matter if we have to die for the sake of our Lord.

How many times have I asked God to make it okay? How many times have I told God I just want to be happy? How long have I held, in my heart just the want to be happy, felt concern in my heart then spent hours on the computer while people are going to hell out there because they don't know the saving touch of Jesus Christ?

There is a dying world out there. The only question is whether or not you will obey God's call to anguish.

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Trust Me

2010-06-15T17:01:00.001-07:00

Trust me.

He is whispering to my soul these past weeks.

Trust me.

Of everything He's told me, how come this is the hardest? Why is it so hard for me to trust Him with my troubles, to trust Him with my life, to give Him the pen to my story? Why is it so hard to simply trust Him?

While I was at a theme park the other day, something incredible happened...God spoke to me in a very loud and obvious way. I am used to His quiet voice filling my head...I am used to hearing His whispers in prayer and through His Word. I am not, however, used to having God speak to me in tangible ways, but in the middle of a theme park, He spoke to me clear as day.

(If you haven't read the blog post Bits and Pieces, I suggest you should because it provides some necessary background information)

For the rest of the afternoon after the talk with my friend, I felt restless. I didn't know if what I had said was enough. God, show me what to say to her, how to help her. I prayed silently. For a while I received no answer...and then, I looked up into the sky. In front of my very eyes, an airplane began to create words in the sky. Hope, Pray, and Trust God.

The message was clear. I could stop being anxious, because my hope was in Him. My prayer had been heard. And His answer was this...trust me.

Bits and Pieces

2010-06-14T14:18:00.001-07:00

Just recently I was with a friend of mine traveling around a theme park, and she said something that really stuck in my mind and caused me to consider what I believed very closely. At the time, I was aggravated and frustrated, because I didn't know how to get the message of truth across to her. Now God has enlightened me and I see it was a good experience to hear things that challenged my faith. It helped me to study what I believe and to ground me, rock solid, in my faith.

You see, I gave my friend a book as a gift, called "Soul Sister" by Beth Redman, a nice read about becoming a girl of God. She was enjoying the book, diving right into the relationships section. That's when she said to me, "You know, Laura, I like this book and everything and a lot of it's good, but some of it is just too Christian based, you know? Like waiting to have s*x before marriage." She looked at me, waiting for me to agree with her. Well, as you probably know, I completely did not...and I was shocked, absolutely shocked. Here was a close friend of mine, going to a Catholic school and calling herself a "Christian", telling me that something was too Christian based for her. Something inside me erupted, and I struggled to keep control of my emotions. Lord, guide me. I prayed, a bullet prayer straight to the heavens. And then I started to talk.

"You know, you can't just pick and choose the parts of the Gospel that you want to follow. It's not like that. You can't get all the good parts of Christianity and then when something comes up that isn't quite as fun or comfortable as you would like it to be, just toss it to the side and pretend it doesn't matter. It's not like that. You can't just believe in God and think thats all you need to do and you can live your life in whatever way you want. You have to follow Him, too." I said, carefully choosing my words and trying my hardest to produce a voice that didn't sound angry.

"You can't just do the easy right things, you have to do the hard right things, too. Take my being your friend, for example. I can't just call myself your "friend", and then when I have an opportunity to be cooler or more popular at your expense, just talk bad about you. I can't, and wouldn't do that to you, because that wouldn't make me a real friend, would it? To be a true friend you have to do the easy things and the hard things. You can't pick and choose the parts of friendship that feel comfortable, or apply to you. It just wouldn't be right." I said, met by dead silence.

"The same goes for Christianity. You can't just pick and choose...you can't tell God that you love Him and will do anything for Him...as long as it's comfortable, as long as you still are cool. It's just not like that."

I was still greeted by dead silence as my friend looked away, stony faced. While I can't say I helped her, and I can definitely say I didn't change her view on this topic, I had said what God wanted me to say and that was my job, in the end. It was God's job to take this seed of thought in her and nurture it, and I would let Him do His job on His timing. But for the rest of the afternoon, walking through the theme park, I felt restless. I didn't know if what I had said was enough. God, show me what to say to her, how to help her. I didn't receive an answer, at least not yet (more on this in the blog post coming out tomorrow, called "Trust Me").

I didn't work any miracles and I didn't change any hearts, but it caused me to think about how we often take bits of pieces of the Gospel and push the other pieces away. The truth is that Jesus gave us everything when He hung on that cross. He didn't hold back. He gave everything, even when it tore His flesh and tore His heart. He gave us everything, and we have to be willing to give everything we have to Him.

We can't take the gospel in bits and pieces, we can't take God in bits and pieces, and we can't give God only bits and pieces of our lives. We have to give Him everything. Yes, I said everything.

Everything.

God has been whispering to me, Give it all to Me. I have held on, longing to give it all to Him but not wanting to lose control, thinking that He'll mess it all up. Thinking that if I let Him take control, He'll give me a life I hate. Still, he whispers. Give it all to Me. Everything.

I'm holding tight to my life, but I want more than anything to let it go. Slowly, gently, I am letting go of the death grip I have on my life and slowly I am passing it to Jesus. Sometimes I hold on tight again, but then God whispers, Everything to Me, everything to Me. I know this is something I must do. When I do, God can transform my life into something beyond my wildest dreams.

I have to let go.

The Gardener

2010-06-05T13:46:00.000-07:00

Our God is a gardener.
He plants us in the ground
lovingly lays the soil around us
and nurtures us so we will grow.

A plant does not grow overnight
and living takes time
so we must wait
wait and trust the Lord
as His plans unfold.

Even when the storm comes

and the wind blows

Even when the rain falls

and we feel like we are about to break...

We can look to the heavens

because we know with each passing moment

the Gardener is with us.

It's not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What's important is that God makes the seed grow. - 1 Corinthians 3:7, NLT

Faith in the Tough Times

2010-06-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

Our God is the healer of broken dreams.

We have so many dreams. So many wishes. So many what ifs. So many things to wait for, to look for, to expect, to hope for. We have this picture in our head of what life should be, a beautiful perfect fuzzy sphere of hope. What it should be blurs the picture, but we just keep on wishing.

So many dreams.

Sarah had a dream...she wanted, more than anything, to have a baby. In her time, a woman was worthless if she could not provide her husband with children. Sarah wanted so much to give Abraham a son. She tried, and she cried, and she wished and she hoped, but it wasn't enough to make her dream come true. Slowly the seeds of her dream fell of until she was left with nearly nothing.

She had given up on her dream in her old age when the Lord spoke to her and Abraham. He told them that Sarah would have a baby. A miracle...and do you know how she responded?

She laughed.

She didn't believe Him. Instead of fixing her eyes on the Lord, she only saw her circumstances and all the reasons why it couldn't happen. The Lord whispered to make her dreams come true, and she laughed in His face.

How many times do we laugh in the face of the Lord? Trust me, my child, He whispers, and we laugh. We say, I don't want you to mess things up, Lord. I need to be in control. Leave it to me. And we go forward, again and again, our hearts tattered and our lives a mess of broken dreams, seedless promises, empty hearts.

Until one day our life is so bare that we cry out to Him, why, Lord? And He says, Trust me.

Trust me.

We live for the future, waiting for a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, friend...we wait for remission, a baby, a new house or healing. We wait, and as we wait the seeds of our dreams blow away one by one until we wonder if it's ever going to happen.

We wait.

Nothing will ever change until we realize that it is not our circumstances that our wrong...it's something deep down inside our hearts. It's not until we realize that unless our eyes our fixed solely on Him, unless we trust Him with all our hearts and we believe He is enough, something will always feel wrong. It's not enough to get married or have a baby or graduate or have the cancer go away, because when it's all over and done and the new isn't new anymore there will always be something more to complain about. There will always be something wrong. There will always be something we wish could be different, something that's dragging us down and keeping us from contentment...

There will always be broken dreams unless our hope is in Him.

When we trust in Him, hope in Him, and love Him with all our hearts...when He is our best friend, the center of our lives, our rock...that is when we find peace. That is when those broken dreams become mended again. One by one he sticks the seeds back until and slowly, slowly our dreams begin to look like a sphere again. A small voice in the wind...Trust me, He whispers.

Because it is only when the Lord is everything and you can truly say that He is enough...it is then that we realize we have a sphere, a beautiful sphere of dreams right inside us.

And we fly.

The Mighty Intercessor by Eric Ludy

2010-06-03T14:37:00.000-07:00

This is a powerful video, taken for a sermon by Eric Ludy. Eric, alongside his wife Leslie, is the author of many popular books such as When Dreams Come True and When God Writes Your Love Story. You can find out more about Eric and Leslie and hear their incredible story at Set Apart Girl and Ellerslie Training.

Let this video be an inspiration to, and a reminder that He is a warrior, and He is always on our side.

{ To watch the video, click here }

Shovels

2010-05-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

I wrap my fingers around the handle and push, my muscles trembling...knowing I need to clear away the manure, the mud, the dirt, but struggling to make it happen. Piles of dark dirt mount high and I can barely get my shovel into it. A musty smell floats around the barn, and I know that I should have done this sooner. If I would have taken the time to clean out the barn every day, all of this wouldn't have piled up. My muscles wouldn't ache, and a blister wouldn't be threatening to arise below my fingers, and the smell wouldn't make it so hard to breath.

Isn't this so much like our hearts? In the rush of life, we leave them alone and unattended to, not bothering to clear the dirt away. Eventually so much muck builds up that our attitudes begin to smell...and everyone notices. If only we had taken the time to slow down, to take a moment and sweep out the dirt of our hearts.

Shovel digs into the muck and pauses for a second, not willing to budge. I dig my feet in and push, the shovel sliding forward, muck flies through the air and is finally out. I take a deep breath, my head spinning. The heat overcomes me and I'm tired...I dig in again, scoop up more. I'm not stopping, not now.

When our muscles tremble and the heat of life threatens to overcome us, God tells us to give the shovel to Him. He holds our hands and helps us continue to push the dirt away. Child, He says, you will always tire and always grow weary until you trust me to take care of you. Let me help you cleanse the dark, broken corners of your heart.

I pause for a second, out of breath...my muscles ache. My fingers wrap around the handle and once again, I push on. Only a small mound is left, a few shovels more and I'll be finished. My heart leaps at the prospect of the end.

The dirt weighs down our hearts, and that's when we realize it will never end. We will always come back and find that there is more dirt, more mistakes, more problems. We will always need to be shoveling and sweeping the dirt away. The beautiful thing is that God will always be there with us too, helping us to create less dirt, helping us to sweep it away more quickly, molding us into people that draw closer and closer to the heart of Christ, shinning floors without a speck.

The last shovelful is airborne and then it's out. Clear, cool air floats into the barn, carrying the last wisps of the smell away. I lean the shovel against the wall and I leave. We clear barns with a shovel, but we clear hearts with God.

Stop

2010-05-17T09:39:00.001-07:00

Two thousand years ago, Peter and John were commanded to STOP speaking and teaching in the name of Jesus. The disciples responded: "We cannot STOP telling about what we have seen and heard." They would not STOP: believing, reading, meeting, teaching, witnessing. John was imprisoned. Peter was crucified. Today, in Orissa, India, the message STOP rings out again. Villages attacked. Churches destroyed. Homes burned. Thousands left homeless. Hundreds martyred. They will not STOP believing, reading, meeting, teaching, witnessing.

If they won't STOP, neither can we.
- The Bible League of Canada's 2010 Daily Devotional Planner

What right do I have to stop sharing my faith when the only thing that will be attacked is my ordinary lifestyle, the only thing that will destroyed is my popularity, when the closest I will come to homeless is friendless and the only part of my life I'm risking is the life that culture says I should live? It is difficult to share my faith, but I am grateful to God that my battle is a internal one, not an external one.

I must stand for the name of Jesus Christ because I am:

Hard pressed on every side, but not crushed, perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed. - 2 Corinthians 4:8

Please pray for the people of Orissa, that the Lord's presence among them will bring them hope.

A Disciple of Jesus

2010-05-17T09:15:00.001-07:00

God doesn't call us to be lukewarm Christian's who go through the motions. He wants us to submit and live for Him with our whole hearts.

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Seek for Beauty

2010-05-09T06:22:00.000-07:00

"We're to seek for beauty...

and refuse to see
anything else."

~Anne of Avonlea

Optional

2010-05-08T17:33:00.000-07:00

NO PART OF THE GOSPEL IS OPTIONAL.

WE HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE.

Something Out of Nothing

2010-04-27T14:28:00.000-07:00

He who brings the dead to life and with a word makes something out of nothing.

- Romans 4:17

Yes, there are ugly parts of my heart. Broken parts, dirty parts, parts I tuck away in a corner to collect dust. There are parts of my heart that rarely arise, ones that only surface with certain people or in certain situations. There are other parts of my heart that are dirty and cracked, but they surface each and every day, ones I still can't seem to brush clean.

It's okay. It's okay to be in the making. It's hard to remember this sometimes. Sometimes it seems like I'm dirty both inside and out. I say the wrong things and do the wrong things...I mess things up for myself and others. I become a people pleaser. I end up hurting others with a careless word spoken only unknowingly, but it doesn't make things any better.

I am stuck between good and bad, worldly and godly, getting torn in half and it makes me so tired and frustrated sometimes that I think nothing will ever change. That I'm stuck being where I am and I'll never be better, never be closer to God and who He wants me to be. I feel like a failure.

Then I remember it's a process. It doesn't happen over night. Piece by piece I approach an image closer to the Lord. One step at a time He cleans the corners of my heart, warms them in the Son, and make them beautiful again. Day by day He helps me move forward to become the person He wants me to be.

When I crushed under the broken pieces of myself, I try to remember. Remember that God can do anything. That He can light up the darkest corners with His smile. He can change anything... anyone. Even me.

When I feel like I will never be anything, I remember...here is the God who raises the dead and with a word makes something out of nothing.

Listen

2010-04-22T15:06:00.001-07:00

You can be standing mere feet from people you know, yet feel so far away. You can hear the voices of those who think they know you, yet not be known. Not really. Not truly. The sun can spill through the trees, leaving dancing patterns on your skin, yet you can stand there and not feel the warmth.

The sound of the volleyball hitting off wrists may be ingrained into my memory forever. It is the sound of being alone. They play volleyball, and I stand beside the tree and think. My fingers trace the worn bark of the tree, bark that reminds me much of the aged skin of an elderly soul. The buzz of schoolyard voices line my ears. Ahh. Today, my soul is content.

Today, just like all other days, I am alone. My friends are concerned. "Are you lonely?" they ask. I am grateful for that simple question, this simple act of care. I am grateful just to hear one of them say they will come and be with me so I won't be alone, that they don't mind, even though I know they do. I am grateful for the words, even though I know they come from guilt rather than love.

"No, I'm not lonely," I say. Today this is the truth, as it often is. Some people do not understand that being alone and being lonely are too very different things. The ball plummets to the ground and tumbles along the grass. Footsteps sound as someone runs to retrieve it. I am alone, but I'm not lonely. Not today.

I begin to walk the track, and their voices grow farther and farther away. It is so quiet I can hear my heartbeat. I have forgotten the beauty of this school yard, the breath of life it has when it is near silence. Gravel beneath my shoes, and stowaway weeds that have crept onto the track. I smile at this. Stowaway weeds.

The trees whisper in the wind as if they know things I don't. Voices come in and out of focus to my ears. A fake French accent drifts towards me, and I smile. These friends are my laughter friends. Not always, but today, for sure. That, in itself, is a beautiful thing. I close my eyes for a second. "My cousin was King Louis the Thirteenth..." I hear. There is laughter in the air, and I realize for a second that sometimes hearing from afar is just as good as being there with them. Maybe better.

I am breathing in sync with the wind when I sit down on the sandy wooden ledge on the edge of the playground. My friends shout to me. "Are you okay?" Yes. "Are you lonely?" No. "You look like a loner.” Well, if I must. The wind catches a strand of my hair and blows it into my face. I get up and approach my friends, because they’re still looking at me . “I’m okay,” I say, “Don’t worrying about me. I am alone, but I’m not lonely.” I can see by their faces they do not understand. Sometimes people never understand.

This time, I sit amongst the trees on a worn out bench. I can hear God whispering. Listen. The wind chills my skin, and I get shivers. The leaves scuttle and dance. Listen. Laughter drifts across the yard. The volleyball soars against the blue sky, airborne. Listen, listen, listen.

Being alone with God today was a beautiful thing. It always is. I was listening and God was listening. Sometimes listening is all that’s needed. In the silence, I was overcome with quiet joy, ordinary joy.

Listen, God says.

There are beautiful things in the silence if you take the time to hear them.

The Beautiful Parts

2010-04-21T13:48:00.000-07:00

"Maybe who we are isn't so much about what we do, but rather what we're capable of when we least expect it." — Jodi Picoult

A younger me stands in French class, petrified. The teacher leaves the room. “You can lead us in prayer while I am gone, Laura,” she says, and then she is gone. I freeze. Thirty pairs of eyes are on me. I study my desk…messages and scribbles on the wood, another person, another time, another day at school. Their eyes silence my words.

He beings to lead the prayer...he speaks for me. He is not one I would call a friend, yet in my moment of need, he rescues me. The clock ticks on the wall and his voice fills the room. “Notre pere…” My heart beat blocks out the words. How quickly you must look to see, in that fleeting moment, the boy whose words once teased and cursed become somebody else, somebody who rescues others in their time of need.

You must look closely to catch it. To catch the moment where he dropped his act and smiled up at the sun. In those fleeting seconds, he was real.

The boy is screaming. He is afraid. Afraid of worms, the ones that rise up from the ground as the rain coats the grass. He is afraid, he is different, and people laugh. He cries. People laugh.

She steps forward and asks him what is wrong. His sobbing words explain. Her voice fills the air…reassuring, building up. His panic slowly dies and fades away. She smiles. The girl who once judged and ranted, who compared and gossiped, who pushed others down, in a moment becomes somebody else, somebody who saves and picks up the broken.

You must look longer to catch it. To catch the moment where she didn’t care what they said. She ignored the eyes on her, all the ones who judged her alongside him. In those fleeting seconds, she was real.

A small hand and a larger one link together. Hardened eyes soften in that moment…he is no longer chasing approval. They walk on the sidewalk, and he becomes a guide, a leader, leading his little sister down the street towards home. This is how it should be. We should lead each other home to our Lord.

The grade eight who once cursed and raged, who shouted words that tore others down, in a second becomes someone else, someone gentle, someone who will defend his loved one at any cost.

You must look quickly catch it. To catch the moment where another's opinion doesn't matter to him anymore. In those fleeting seconds, he was real.

I stand outside and think, how can I judge others for not being who I long for them to be, when I myself am not who I long to be? It is in the fleeting moments you see someone’s heart, pale and vulnerable for all the world to see. It is in those moments where you knock the walls down, the ones around your heart, even if only for a second. It is in those moments you are filled with hope, in those moments where you are real.

It is when I suddenly look past the part of my heart that judges others that I see how I myself often don't measure up. I look at others and suddenly I see just another person who makes mistakes, another person just like me. Another person who has beautiful things in their heart, even if those beautiful things aren't always easy to see.

The wind blows through the trees, and tears run down cheeks. Sitting next to a girl who is hurting, I listen. I just listen. "I know how you feel," I say. Far too well, I know how you feel. Far too often I am the one feeling alone. I know this much is true. I know this much is real. Two broken people sit together, looking for hope. I look up at the sky, and I know there is hope.

You must look closely, look quickly, to catch it. To catch the moment where the heart is true. The moment where the beautiful, broken, dirty parts of your heart are all brought forward and lifted for the world to see. In those fleeting seconds, there is truth. In those fleeting moments, hope is alive again.

The Woman At The Well

2010-04-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

{this blog post is based on John 4:1-30}

The word I can use to describe myself is alone. I am a Samaritan woman, and that makes me feel judged enough. Jews do not associate with people of my kind. But even amongst the Samaritan's in my village I am a stranger.

I am dirty. I am broken.

I have made so many mistakes...I have been married so many times I could use up each and every finger on one hand. If that is not bad enough, the man I live with I am not married to. I know it's wrong. I definitely feel like I'm a bad person. But I just can't see a way out.

Today, I am alone at the well. I am lost, hurting, and broken. I fasten the pail to the hook and let it fall gently downwards, and I draw the water. My mouth is dry, and I am so very thirsty.

It is then I realize that I am not alone...I have not been for the whole time I have been here. There is a man watching me, a Jewish man, tanned and tired and dusty from what looks like he has been traveling for a very long time.

He asks me for a drink, and I wonder if I have heard him right. "I am a Samaritan woman." I say, thinking this will make a difference to him. He must be so tired he is delusional. He continues to watch me as if my being a Samaritan isn't a problem. I repeat myself. "I am a Samaritan woman, and you are a Jew. How can you ask me for a drink?" The disbelief creeps into my voice as I speak, but still, my words have no effect on the man.

"If you knew God," he says, "and if you knew who I am, you would have asked me for a drink, and I would give you living water." I look at him, confused, trying to see if he has something to draw the water with. He doesn't. "Sir," I begin, trying to be respectful. My voice is still full of doubt. "Sir, you have nothing to draw the water with, and the well is deep. Are you greater than our father Jacob?"

He must be delusional, I think. He is talking crazy. Then, the man gives her a knowing smile. His gaze is soft. "Whoever drinks the water from this well will be thirsty again," he says, "but if you drink the water I give you, you will never thirst. The water will become eternal life within you."

Living water? Never be thirsty again? I do not understand what he is saying, and I do not know if I believe him. But there is a part of me that longs for this water he speaks of. "Sir, give me this water so that I will not have to come back to this well to drink!" I say, but my voice betrays me, for I do not sound confident, only hopeful and doubtful.

The man gives me another knowing smile, and says, "Go and get your husband." His words are like a stab in the heart, and I cringe. I refuse to meet his eyes, and my voice is soft. "I have no husband." I begin to wonder if he even heard me, when he says, "That is true. You have no husband...in fact, you have five husbands, and the man you live with you are not married to." I look at him in alarm, and I realize he knows me. Somehow, this man I have never met before knows everything about me. He is really as special as he says he is.

"Sir, you must be a prophet," I say, my voice full of wonder. I wonder what to ask him, and questions about God nag my mind. "Tell me...we have worshiped God on this mountain. But you Jews say we must worship in Jerusalem.

The man smiles with that knowing smile yet again, and he looks up to the sky. His face glows with something inside of him. "The time will soon come," he begins, "when you will not worship in Jerusalem either. The time is coming where the true worshipers of the Father will worship God in spirit and in truth."

I listen to his words, and I think of the promised Messiah. The Christ, who will know everything and tell us everything and let us know the truth. I begin, "I know that the Messiah, Christ, is coming to us. When he does, he will explain everything."

I watch him as one more time he breaks into a smile. "That man who you speak of? It is me." His voice fills the air and suddenly I realize I am speaking to the Messiah, of whom I should not be worthy. The Savior, who knows everything about me, who has looked me in the eyes and doesn't just see a woman but sees me for who I really are. For to be known is to be loved, and to be loved is to be known, and to be known and loved sews together the tattered edges of broken hearts.

Thank you God, for taking the time to know me. Just like the woman at the well, I am amazed at what you think of me. Even when others fail me, you are there, and you know me better than I know myself. You know my dreams, my hopes, my dreads, my weaknesses. You know my mistakes, my failures, my private successes that I share with no one. You know my hearts cry and the little torn things inside me, and you piece my broken life back together. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for wanting to know me.

Love,

{ video | click here }

You Are Loved

2010-04-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

I am reading two excellent books right now. One is by John Eldredge, titled Walking With God, and the other is by Todd Hafer and Vicki Kuyper, titled To Save a Life : Dare to Make Your Life Count. Both of them are amazing books and I would encourage you to read them if you have a chance. One of them may be in your local library, or if you know me personally I would be happy to lend them to you. Life is specifically for teens, and Walking is for all ages, but both contain timeless biblical truths.

John Eldredge in Walking With God was talking about how often, Satan gets us to make agreements. By agreements he means things we unconsciously accept to be true, for example, "I'll never be loved," or, "Love never lasts", or, "I've done too many bad things for God to love me". (Sorry, they're all about love...I can't think of any other examples for some reason). I was thinking about that and wondering what agreements I had unconsciously made, but I couldn't come up with any, so I thought I'd just leave it for a few days and see if I would think of something. So, I did.

I was reading To Save A Life : Dare To Make Your Life Count and something really struck me right then and there. I've read the same message 100 times, but with my new knowledge on 'agreements' it hit me differently this time. This was the passage.

You never outgrow Jesus...He's not just for kids who still have their baby teeth and can't be trusted with cell phones. He is "By Your Side on the Way to the Crisis Pregnancy Centre" Jesus. He is "Holding Your Hand While You Clutch The Bottle of Pills That Could End Your Life" Jesus. - Todd Hafer and Vicki Kuyper

Suddenly I really got it. Jesus loves me. I've heard it a thousand times, but until today I never realized that I had an 'agreement' that was a barrier to me really accepting that truth. The agreement I had made with myself was this..."Sure, God loves you. But only when you deserve it." This is important here, because maybe you're feeling the same way too. Let me repeat that for you. "Jesus loves me, but only when I deserve it." What a LIE! It came to me today as two messages from two separate books collided in one moment of truth. I have always been happy to embrace God's love when I'm doing everything right. But when I say something upsetting to a friend, when I blow up on my parents for no reason at all, when I turn in my project two days late because I'm too lazy to start it in advance...well, somehow I came to the conclusion that God couldn't love me when I was doing all these things against His will. That's Satan worming his way in there.

As soon as I realized it, I said a prayer. I command this 'agreement' to leave me in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. I have believed the lie that Jesus loves me only when I deserve it, but I know this is untrue and I now bind up this untruth and send it from my heart. The truth is that Jesus loves me through every bad thing I have ever done. After the prayer, I felt a lot more lighthearted. I know that won't be enough to make this agreement go away for good, but it's a start. I'm going to have to fight it daily til' it's gone for good. Because it's holding on to my heart.

It's funny how long you can be told something before you really get it. That's the problem with us humans, we can hear something and understand it intellectually but it takes a whole lot more for the same truth to penetrate the walls of our heart (paraphrased, Pastor Todd). Now that I know one agreement I've made, I'm going to be on the lookout for the other things I've come to accept that are not at all true. Because whether I believed it before or not, there was crazy, unstoppable love flowing towards me even when I messed things up so bad it seemed like I would never fix them.

You're going to slip up. You're going to make mistakes. The thing is, no matter what you do, one thing never changes... you are loved.

Be Still and Trust

2010-04-08T12:12:00.000-07:00

Note: I'd like to encourage you to watch these short, powerful videos by onetimeblind relating to trust and control, here and here.

There's so much that isn't perfect in my life.

There are so many things I want to work out now, from small matters like the topic of my next blog post to bigger matters like what University I will go to and what I will take. There are so many things I want to work through, but I can't seem to sort it all out on my own. Issues with friends. Studying for tests. Knowing the Lord more intimately, seeking my purpose in life. All of these things are constantly on my mind, constantly whispering to me in the back of my head, telling me to hurry up and figure it out.

Sometimes I wish I could just call a customer service hotline and get the answers to all my questions, immediately. Then, at least, I wouldn't have to be so confused in the times life is unraveling so slowly... or the times where life is unraveling in such unpredictable ways. I wish there were easy answers to hard questions.

I love my cat, Shadow. He's a sweet, loving cat, and he thinks highly of me...very highly. He seems to think I'm this amazing, all powerful person who can save him from anything and everything. If I'm standing next to the kitchen counter and he is there, he often will fall right off the counter while rubbing against me because he's sure I'll catch him. Usually I do, thank goodness, but even so, that isn't the point. The point is that most days, I'm in awe of Shadow's trust in me. Most days, he is an example to me of how I should trust the Lord.

A little while ago, there was a time where my cat Shadow escaped from the house. I quickly rushed outside to catch him because we've lost several cats to coyotes who prowl around at night. I was afraid that he would stray too far and I wouldn't find him before nightfall. I picked shadow up and held him tight to be sure he wouldn't escape, then hurried back towards the house. That's when the dogs came.

Normally the cats and the dogs get along pretty well, but my big dog, Sam, seemed particularly interested in the fact that I was holding Shadow outside. He got excited and started jumping up and sniffing Shadow, which scared him half to death. He tensed up, put out his claws, and started struggling in my arms. I lifted him upwards away from the dog, and I hurried faster towards the house where he would be safe. Just before I got to the door, though, he got too scared and scrambled out of my arms. The dog began to chase him under a chair and he was in an even worse situation than he started out in. I picked him up again and made sure he didn't escape, but all the time I was thinking, Stay still and trust me, let me hold on to you, because even though I can't make the dogs go away, if you stay in my arms I can keep you safe. Trust me and everything will be okay. All I could think was if only my cat could understand that by struggling against me and running away he was only making things harder on himself.

Suddenly realized that this mirrored the trust relationship between God and me.

The problem is that the harder I try to work my life out, the farther I drift away from God. Because all the times I feel out of control, all the times I feel like I need to do something to help figure out life, those are the times where I'm not trusting God. I'm like my cat, Shadow, struggling in God's arms, and when I jump out onto the ground and try to save myself, that's where the trouble comes in. Instead of trusting God to make sense of my life, I think that I can do a better job, but in reality, all I ever do is mess things up. Maybe if I can just be okay with putting God in control...maybe if I can be okay with not having the answers, things will work out. If I just trust in the Lord, I'll find peace.

As I struggle in God's arms, I can hear God whispering to me, Be still and trust me, let me hold on to you, because even though I can't make the dangers in your life go away, in my arms I can keep you safe. Trust in me and everything will be okay.

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles." ~Isaiah 40:31

He Is Risen

2010-04-04T16:09:00.000-07:00

HE IS RISEN! He made the lame walk, the mute talk, He opened blind eyes to see, He made the deaf hear, the sick well again, He loved the unlovable, He ordered the dead to get up and walk. Yet among all these miracles He did not bring Himself down from the cross...He allowed His father's will to be carried out so He could wash away the sins of the world. Be awestruck as the woman were when the angel told them of his resurrection...believe as the disciples did when they saw His empty tomb...be filled with awe and fear at the truth. Today, our Church shouted with joy at the day that Jesus rose from the dead, and I was filled with happiness that I have never felt before. For this is the most joyful time of the year! Be filled with joy for HE IS RISEN!

Crucified

2010-04-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

Note: This post is inspired by the incredible message that Pastor Todd delivered at his Good Friday service.

This Friday, I was filled with sorrow, for I felt the truth that on that day, my Lord had been crucified so many years ago. Crucified, humiliated, killed, all for me, all for my sins. For your sins. For our sins. This filled me with shame and sadness. This filled me with guilt because after all He did for me it seems like I don't put enough importance into loving and honouring Him. It seems like sometimes I'm more worried about my reputation, about my own glory than I am about, my God's glory, the One who's Son died for my sins. This fills me with sadness. This fills me with shame. I know that in order to become an authentic Christ follower, I must sacrifice myself and sacrifice my life just as Jesus did two thousand and ten years ago. I must embrace the grace of God for without it I am no better than those who crucified Jesus.

Sometimes I am like Judas and Peter. I honour God and I praise Him, I tell Him that I will die for Him, I assure Him I will never leave for my love for Him is too great. Yet when things get tough, I break. I try to survive with my own strength. When it seems like I can get acceptance from those of this world, I deny my God not only through my words but through my actions, not wanting to stand out, even for Someone as deserving as He. Sometimes I do not give my God all He is worthy of...sometimes I am like Judas, betraying the Lord with a kiss.

Sometimes I am like the power hungry Pilate. There are times I feel that pleasing the crowd and preserving the peace is more important than justice. When an innocent friend is being condemned, I step back and say nothing, or worse, go along with what is being done. There are times when I want to receive recognition for my achievements, ignoring the fact that they are worldly things that will soon mean nothing. There are times where I wish to hold a place of power over others...times where I gossip, or listen to people talking unjustly about others. Sometimes I am like Pilate, condemning others, condemning Jesus Christ.

Sometimes I am like the easily swayed crowd. Before I present my opinion I ask others what they think, for I don't want to present an opinion that isn't considered cool. Often I look to see how others have responded before I decide how I should react. There are times where I allow my emotions to take over and I make decisions based on feelings alone instead of listening to truth. There are times I let my friends influence my decisions and my character, times where I break the boundaries acceptable to God just because someone is watching. There are times I agree with things I know are untruthful just because I want to be one of the crowd. Sometimes I am like the crowd, allowing injustice to rule.

Sometimes I am like the opportunistic Barabbas. Just as he knew he was guilty yet didn't speak, there are times where I do not speak up for justice. There are times I stand by while others are condemned for things they did not do or could not help. There are times where I seize opportunities to make myself look better, even if they push others down. Sometimes, I am like Barabbas, seizing opportunities, no matter who is hurt in the process.

Sometimes, I am like the unthinking soldiers. Often I go through the motions, letting my days become meaningless. I do my job, and I avoid doing holy things for I know they will cause trouble or rejection. I am oblivious to the fact that following Jesus is not a removal of every burden, as some are led to believe...that I should be persecuted in my Lord's name. Sometimes, I am like the soldiers, taking the path of least resistance instead of the right one.

Sometimes, I am like the innocent bystander, Simon of Cyrene. Often I do not respond to a cry for help, just because I feel it's not my responsibility. There are times I think that somebody else will do it, that it isn't my job, that surely there are others out there who will be compelled to help so I do not have to. Sometimes, I am like Simon of Cyrene, merely a bystander, thinking that is an excuse.

Sometimes, I am like the contemptuous people who passed Jesus on the cross. There are times where I find other's weaknesses and feed off of them, bring them shame, mock them and disrespect them, even if only in little ways. There are times where I do not lift up others but instead bring them down, even if I think 'it is only a joke'. There are times where I allow jokes about the Lord pass me by without standing up for Him. Sometimes, I am like the passer-bys, treating Jesus far more lightly than He deserves.

Sometimes, I am like the oblivious criminals. There are times where I am unkind to others because I feel that if I point out their weaknesses I can deflect the attention off of myself. There are times I think that maybe, if people see what others have done wrong, they won't see what my imperfections as well. There are times where I am oblivious to my own sins because I think that my sins do not matter, for someone else out there ought to be worse than I. Sometimes, I am like the criminals who hung on Jesus Christ's left and right, hypocritical.

I am a sinner, and often, I am no better than those who crucified Jesus Christ. I have to put aside my worldly concerns, I have to make the sacrifice and say: I am willing to be like Him who was crucified...and be crucified. For who we are, our accomplishments and our reputations are nothing in the face of Jesus Christ. The only thing that matters in the end is that I am a child of God. You are a child of God. The only thing that matters in the end is that we belong to the King, and that on the day He died on the cross, He paid the penalty. Through His pain, He has washed away our sins.

Who I Am

2010-03-29T15:21:00.000-07:00

God is calling me to be authentic.

I've especially been hearing His voice in the past few months. I've been on a journey of discovery the past year...figuring out how to be real, but I've been going slowly, sometimes getting off track. In the last little while, God's really been prodding me to get a move on with what He wants me to do.

He wants me to be real, and it's hard.

When I started out on this journey of self discovery, I wanted to be outgoing. I wanted to be fearless. I wanted to be funny, crazy and full of life. Even yesterday, there was still a part of me that wanted to be that way...there was still a part of me that was trying to tell me that being confident and fearless is the only way to be authentic. Not today. Today I heard God. I wasn't listening hard enough the past while...today I realized what God had been trying to tell me all this time.

The truth.

Authentic is not fearless. Authentic is not loud. Authentic is not funny. Maybe for some people it is...but it doesn't have to be.

Authentic, according to the dictionary, is not false or an imitation. Yes, you heard that right. Not false. Somehow, I always had this paradigm that being quiet, being introverted, was somehow not authentic, not real. I had this notion that if I had to change in order to be real, when really all the time I was being more and more fake. In the definition of authenticity, nowhere does it say, fearless. No where does it say, outgoing. The definition of authentic is not false. The definition of authentic is real.

I started to think about this, and suddenly I realized something. I'm never going to be extroverted. I'm never going to be outgoing. I can try all I like, but it's never going to happen. No, I'm not going to let fear control me...I'm not going to let fear interfere with my life, but I'm never going to be an extrovert. God revealed that to me today, and I finally accepted it for the first time.

I can only be me.

It's okay to be quiet. It's okay to fade into the background, sometimes. It's okay to be uncomfortable singing at the top of your lungs at recess, or to watch instead of participate in dancing in front of a crowd. It's okay if you don't tend to make people laugh, it's okay not to always put on a show. If that's who you are, I'm not saying that it's wrong...if that's you, than by all means, do it. I have a group of friends who love to put on a show, and I love them for it. They're fun, they're entertaining, and they make me laugh. If you're an extrovert, if you're outgoing, that's a good thing. But if that's not who you are, that's okay too.

I now know that I have to embrace myself. I have to be okay with being who I am. Being introverted is not a bad thing, it's a beautiful thing...what's worse is to try to be someone I'm not. A bird flies and a fish swims...they both have unique purposes. A bird can try to swim, but it won't succeed. A fish can try to fly, but it will never get itself very far out of the water. If you're a bird, you have to embrace your gifts, talents and strengths. But if you're a fish, you have to love yourself too. You have to embrace your gifts, talents, and strengths. Yes, they'll be different than a birds...but you can't keep wishing you were a bird because it's never going to happen. And in the darkest times where all I want to do is fly, I have to remember that fish have a purpose too.

Being who you are is a fight. I can't say it's easy. It's not something you do once that lasts the rest of your life. It's an ongoing struggle, one that you have to keep up with day to day. It gets easier, the closer to God you get...but being yourself, especially if you are an introvert, well, to some extent it's always going to be hard.

God made me for a reason. I know that. Fighting what He made me for won't do me any good. I have to smile and say, thank you, God. I like who I am...I like how you made me. I like who I'm meant to be. I have to smile and remember what how God spoke to me today when He showed me how to be real.

Being authentic doesn't always mean being fearless. Being authentic doesn't always mean being comfortable in every situation. Sometimes, it means embracing those fears, those discomforts. Sometimes being uncomfortable is God's way of telling us we aren't doing what we're meant to do. There are times for bravery, times for boldness, and times for God given courage to overcome fears...but there is never a time for going against your innate personality.

Today I realized that for me, being authentic might mean just listening to a conversation instead of joining in. It might mean taking time to be alone each night and write. It might mean listening to softer music, and being a spectator to my friend's impromptu performances. For me, being authentic might mean laughing at someone else's jokes. It might mean always being available to listen. It might mean embracing my quieter spirit, embracing my cravings for meaningful conversations. It might mean focusing on quality of relationships instead of quantity, it might mean embracing my cravings for deep relationships instead of shallow ones.

Now I know the truth. Being authentic doesn't mean fighting myself. It doesn't mean changing who I am. Being authentic means being real. Being authentic is saying, Yes, God. This is how you made me. Now let me live the purpose you've planned for me. Let me live according to your will.

Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. - Isaiah 64:8.

Joy

2010-03-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

Spring is making me crazy.

Really. Every time I look out the window and see all the green starting to show, I start to feel all crazy inside. It makes me just want to fling open the front door and start running down the road. Spring is just so beautiful. Spring reminds me of God.

When I'm deep in worship, I get that very same feeling that I get when I feel a spring breeze drift through my open window. For a while, I didn't know quite what to name it...but now, I think I know exactly the word. Joy. Absolutely indescribable joy. When I truly open myself to Him, God fills me with amazing, gorgeous joy. God reminds me of spring.

I was reading a blog post on (in)courage today and the theme of the post really stayed with me. Choose joy. What beautiful words. Choose joy. What a beautiful message!

When I am frustrated about something, I hear the whisper of the Lord, choose joy, my child. Don't let this silly thing steal your joy. - Jessica Turner, (in)courage

It really makes me think about all the times that I've let little things steal my joy...times when I've focused on all I have to do and all I've failed at, instead of focusing on the beautiful moments right in front of me. It makes me think about the Lord and how I know that following Him is the only way my life can overflow with joy.

So why, why, why do I keep focusing on the irrelevant? It's as if I'm waiting so hard for the extraordinary moments to come that I can't absorb the little ones. I'm waiting for all these things to change in my life before I can really be happy, when I all I have to do if give myself fully to the Lord and He will fill me with the joy I long for. All I have to do is give myself completely to the Him.

Maybe joy isn't just found in the big moments, as we've been led to believe. Sure, the big moments are beautiful. The big moments are joyful. But maybe the only way to live a life of pure, uncapped joy is to walk with the Lord and chose to live every moment to the fullest. We have to remember that joy is a choice...and the best joy comes from a heart that is completely His.

Enjoy the beautiful days of early spring, and don't wait for something to change in your life before you can be happy. Look around you, take a deep breath, and hear the Lord whispering, choose joy, my child. Choose joy.

1000 Gifts, Gratitude, and Spring

2010-03-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

Thank you God for this beautiful March weather and the promise of Spring in the air.

Thank you God for melting snow! As much as I love the snow, sometimes it overstays it's welcome.

Thank you God for beautiful flowers that will be here soon!

Thank you God for trees. They are still leafless here, but they are sturdy and beautiful all the same. The leaves will come soon.

Thank you God for new life and new growth, physically or spiritually.

Thank you God for taking away the white and grey and giving us some colour.

Thank you God for spring...

On this note, I would like you to join me in my quest to make a list of "1000 Gifts". Not gifts that you would like to have, gifts you already have! Making a list of 1000 things you are grateful for in your life will teach you to appreciate the beautiful things that God has given us. Click here, and here to find out more information.

Honour the King

2010-03-14T13:23:00.000-07:00

Note: The past few weeks I've been attending a new Church each Sunday that my friends invited me to. This church is truly phenomenal. You learn so much each service, it's nothing short of amazing. Today was my second time attending service, and I decided that I would write up the message that Pastor Trevor, a visiting pastor from Calgary, had to say to us today. Maybe sometime in the future I will write up last Sunday's amazing message too.

We were studying Malachi 1:6-14. To tell you the truth, I didn't even know Malachi was a book in the bible until we read it today. It's not one that you hear about too often, but it gave a very important message. I will try my best to paraphrase what Pastor Trevor said to us today, but forgive me if the slightest details of his sermon are off.

This post is probably written differently from my other posts, because it was a more in depth study of the word instead of a collection of my thoughts. I hope you enjoy it anyways.

"A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?” says the LORD Almighty. “It is you, O priests, who show contempt for my name. “But you ask, ‘How have we shown contempt for your name?’ “You place defiled food on my altar. “But you ask, ‘How have we defiled you’ “By saying that the LORD’s table is contemptible. When you bring blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals, is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?” says the LORD Almighty. "Now implore God to be gracious to us. With such offerings from your hands, will he accept you?”—says the LORD Almighty. - Malachi 1:6-9

In verse six, God talks about two things. One is a child and parent relationship and the other is a master and slave (or nowadays, a boss and employer) relationship. God says that a child should honour his father. That's understandable, right? That's the way it's supposed to be. Obviously it doesn't always happen these days, but the basic understanding is that a child should obey and respect his or her parents. The same is true for an employer and employee. The employer must respect and "fear" his or her boss, because if not you'll get fired pretty fast. That's just common sense...respect your boss, because he or she has power over you. That, too, is understandable.

Then God says...well, if a child should respect and honour his father, and if a slave should respect and honour his master, why am I not being honoured? God is our father, and our master, so he should be treated with respect and honour as well. Because in all truth, if you are not honouring God, you are despising Him. There is no middle ground. There is no kind of, sort of. If you're NOT honouring God, that's an insult to Him, and it's as good as despising Him.

When we got farther into the verses, we began to read about how the priests in Malachi's day would bring crippled or blind animals to sacrifice on the altar. Really, they were bringing the animals that would soon die anyways, because that meant that it was no loss to them to give the animals up to God. They were bringing junk to his altar. That made God really angry, because He knew that if the Priests were inviting their Governor over for dinner, they would never sacrifice a crippled animal for him, only a healthy one. The same respect and more should be given to me, God said.

That's all fine and dandy, you might be saying, but how does that apply to everyday life? I know I sure don't sacrifice crippled lambs on the altar. I don't sacrifice lambs at all! Well, think of it this way...your "sacrifices" to God would come in the way of money, energy, time, and your gifts and talents. So examine your actions here. How much money do you spend on your Church? Most of us give a small percentage of our incomes, so small that it really doesn't have any effect on us. Or how about your energy? How much energy to you put into serving God? Do you always give it your best, do you get excited around the idea of reading your bible? Or do you put as little effort into it as you possibly can? And your time. Do you have time set aside just for you and God? Time that is just for you and God, an allotted time that no one can get in the way of? And your gifts and talents...are you using them for God's glory, or are you using them just to please yourself? You can't just show up Sunday morning at Church and think that's enough, because it isn't. Examine your actions, and stop bringing junk to God's altar.

“Oh, that one of you would shut the temple doors, so that you would not light useless fires on my altar! I am not pleased with you,” says the LORD Almighty, “and I will accept no offering from your hands." Malachi 1:10

God takes no pleasure in halfheartedness. He takes no pleasure in seeing someone go through the motions. Empty prayers, tired songs, they don't bring the Lord the joy that He deserves. You can read through the bible and over and over again you will see there is never a time that God is okay with halfheartedness. He doesn't like people sitting on the fence in between worldliness and Godliness. God wants us to be hot or cold. He doesn't like lukewarm. God says that if you are going through the motions, if the word of God is not alive in you, you might as well not do anything at all. If there is a Church out there that is doing everything with lukewarm passion, God says they might as well shut the doors and not hold mass at all. He doesn't like "useless fires on His altar". You can't expect to be blessed by God if you are only pretending you are a real worshiper of Him.

My name will be great among the nations, from the rising to the setting of the sun. In every place incense and pure offerings will be brought to my name, because my name will be great among the nations,” says the LORD Almighty. - Malachi 1:11

God is great. There's no doubt about it. He hung the stars, he told the oceans how far to go. God is great, there is no changing that...but you choose whether or not you want to represent God's greatness. You can repent and worship the Lord with a full, overflowing heart...you can be an image of God in this dark world. Or you can keep on doing what you want to do. You have to examine yourself. Ask yourself this question...do people know that I worship the Great God by the way I live my life? Do I reflect God's greatness in who I am? Do people see the greatness of God in my life? Every day of the week, not just Sunday? Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in everyday life that we forget that we have a purpose on this Earth...we're meant to show other's what living for God does in someone's life. We want to be different, in a good way...we want to be different in a way that makes people want to know why we're different. In the end, whether you choose to show God's greatness or not, one day his greatness will be revealed to all and you can either be holding His hand or left behind.

“But you profane it by saying of the Lord’s table, ‘It is defiled,’ and of its food, ‘It is contemptible.’ And you say, ‘What a burden!’ and you sniff at it contemptuously,” says the LORD Almighty.“When you bring injured, crippled or diseased animals and offer them as sacrifices, should I accept them from your hands?” says the LORD. Malachi 1:12-13

In verses 12 and 13, Pastor Trevor talked about examining our attitude. You know, it's possible to do the right thing with the wrong attitude, and attitudes really matter to God. What is our attitude towards the King of Kings? Do we get excited when we open the bible? Are we excited to go to Church on Sunday? Are we making our lives all about Him, or are we still holding on the illusion that it's all about us?

“Cursed is the cheat who has an acceptable male in his flock and vows to give it, but then sacrifices a blemished animal to the Lord. For I am a great king,” says the LORD Almighty, “and my name is to be feared among the nations. - Malachi 1:14

All too often, we give the Lord our offerings halfheartedly. We give him incomplete offerings...crippled offerings, blind ones. But God makes it clear that he doesn't find this acceptable. Those who play games with God, those who go through the motions...they will be cursed. All the evil in this world will not go unpunished...one day, it will be taken care of by God. Do we fear the Lord? All to often we get caught up in the great loving forgiveness of our Creator. Of course all of that is true, but we have to remember to fear the Lord as well. He is powerful. He is big. And one day, we will be on our knees begging the Lord for mercy upon us. We can't just love the Lord, though this is important. We must also fear Him. He is so much greater than us, and we can't just take all of His grace for granted. All too often we say, well, he'll forgive me anyway, so I can do whatever I want, right? We have the fear the Lord, we must treat him with reverence and honour. We must be still and know He is God.

Note from Laura: I hope you enjoyed this "Bible Study" based on the sermon of Pastor Trevor of Harvest Bible Chapel in Calgary, Alberta. Be sure to examine your actions, stop going through the motions, begin to reflect the greatness of God, examine your attitude and fear the King of Kings. I apologize for any errors in the reproduction of the sermon. Have a great day!

Completely His

2010-03-12T17:31:00.000-08:00

He loves me. Beautifully. Indescribably. Unconditionally.

God loves me, but I don't deserve it.

Everyday, this fact becomes more and more apparent, as I drift in the wrong directions, make mistakes, as I sin. I try so hard to be the perfect Christian, the perfect friend, the perfect worldly girl. I can't be everything. And the harder I try to be both worldly and godly, the farther I drift away.

I'm unworthy, but He still loves me.

I've grown up singing "Jesus loves me, this I know," in church, but it wasn't until I was twelve years old that I understood the beautiful depth of God's love and mercy for me. I don't know how it happened. I was reading "The Search For Significance: Student Edition" by Robert S. McGee and suddenly something clicked in my mind. I got it.

My life changed forever that day, and I don't know if I'll ever go a day where I don't wish every person that I meet would be able to experience that boundless love for themselves. Maybe I'm not the best example. I should be leading people to Christ through me. I should be a beacon of light, a contagious Christian, a girl with a passion for God so big that everyone can see it. I should be...but I'm not. I'm good at hiding things that I sometimes don't want people to see. Even so, I am trying, trying hard to be the person God wants me to be. I'm trying, even if it may not be hard enough.

My life has purpose from the day I read those pages. My life came alive. Ever since then, I've been on a quest to get closer to God, to become stronger for God, to do more for God, to be completely His. I won't say it's easy. It's not a quick fix. I am, what I like to call, "in the making". But never, ever, would I go back to the way it was before I really felt God's love for the first time.

I don't deserve it. I really and truly don't deserve it. All this beautiful, wonderful, indescribable love...I don't deserve it. I'm not a perfect girl. I'm not a perfect Christian. I'm far from a perfect Christian. I get so distracted, day to day, and I get so caught up in my friends and school and complaining about everything that comes my way that, well, quite frankly, I push God away. On a daily basis, I tell God, "just wait a minute". It's wrong, I know. None the less, I do it constantly.

I have a wandering heart...I have an anxious heart. I'm often afraid, angry, and negative. Sometimes I blow up on my parents for no apparent reason. Sometimes I am hard on myself...actually, that's an understatement. Sometimes I can be my own worst enemy. I'm not always the greatest friend, I can be greedy, selfish, and ignorant, I can be prideful, jealous, and competitive. There are days where I get annoyed at the littlest things, over dramatize small problems, and more often than not, there are times that I procrastinate.

Clearly, I'm not a perfect girl. Clearly, I'm not a perfect Christian. Even so, God still loves me with this crazy, irrevocable, indescribable, amazing love. I don't understand it. Maybe I never will. He doesn't care that I have a wandering heart, that sometimes I have other motives than just pursuing Him. I go off track so often...it breaks my heart, and I know it breaks His. I want to be loved by the world, and yet I want to be completely God's. It's impossible to be both, but I'm still fighting for control. Fighting against God. Yet He still loves me just the way I am.

He doesn't want me to stay in this place. I know He doesn't. It's a battle for my soul but He's not leaving. He'll be here until I can finally give my self totally to Him. He's there, patiently waiting. This is a season of my life that I have to go through. It's a test, a trial, a storm. There will be lots of those, I know that for sure, but I can see the light in the horizon. It's just peaking over the hills, sending little shafts of light my way. I can choose to walk away...or I can choose to walk towards it. I will choose the latter, even though it will be hard, even though it will be a fight.

I don't deserve this love. Nobody does. But it's all there, if we'll just accept it. The lone cry of every heart, the deepest desire is to be loved, special, important. We're a world of people fighting for love as if it's going to run out, when there's enough for everyone to have it for eternity. It breaks my heart when I see people without God. It breaks my heart when I see myself drifting from God. I don't know my purpose. I don't know what calling God has for me. But one thing I know is this: I am nothing, and I can do nothing, without Him. Sometimes I think I can, and every time, I always fall flat on my face. Every time I look to the world for security and love, I come back emptier than I was before. Every time I think I've found love, I find an empty promise and my heart still cries for Him.

I don't deserve His love ... all I can do is accept it. Accept all of it. Submerge myself in it. Immerse myself in it. Absorb it, soak in it, take every drop. All I can do is walk humbly with the Lord, and become completely His.

I may not be a perfect girl. Even so, I can look up in the sky and know that I was never meant to be perfect. I was only meant to be me.

Outside the Lines

2010-03-03T13:10:00.000-08:00

I'd like to say I'm a perfect girl. I really would.

I'd like to tell you that I have perfect hair, beautiful eyes, a dazzling smile. I'd like to tell you that my skin is flawless and tanned and that I radiate confidence when I come into the room. I'd like to tell you that I'm sporty and athletic and that I always score the winning goal. I'd like to tell you that I ace every test, that I make people laugh, and that I never forget my agenda at school. If my life is a colouring sheet, I'd like to tell you that I always colour between the lines.

I'd like to tell you that all this is true...but that would be lying.

The truth is, I'm not perfect. In fact, I'm far from it. I'm sure many of you can relate, because nobody on Earth is ever perfect at all. We know that perfection is unachievable, yet I know that sometimes I expect myself to do everything right, and I'm often disappointed when it doesn't happen. I go through each day trying so hard to be someone worth liking, and then getting broken down by the little voice in my head saying that I'll never be enough.

Every day, I'm caught in pursuit of something I'll never achieve, and through all of that it's easy to forget that the imperfection of the world is what makes it so beautiful. If the stars we're all lined up in a grid-like formation, they wouldn't be so dazzling and full of such rugged beauty. Or the trees. If God measured their trunks and made them ruler straight, they wouldn't bend and twist and make branches that curve so perfectly for sitting on. Of course, we can't forget snowflakes, little clumps of snow that are by no definition perfect. If they were, I don't think they would be nearly as beautiful.

Sometimes I'm so afraid of being imperfect that I cover up who I am. I begin to colour in black and white, making sure that I never colour outside the lines. I conform to the 'rules' of todays society, looking a certain way and listening to a certain type of music. And the more of myself I chop away, the less I become, and slowly I begin to lose who I really am. If you think about it, it really is a tragedy.

When I stop using vibrant colours to shade in the picture of my life, things become boring. I don't stand out anymore, and that makes me less vulnerable, but all those beautiful unused crayons are begging to come out of the box. Sometimes I have to pause the black and white crayons for a moment and think about who I am in Christ. The very guy who says that we are so important to him that every hair on our head is numbered. (Matthew 10:30) The very One who told us that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made, knit together by His very hands in our mother's womb. (Pslam 139) I think about that, and I begin to realize that maybe I don't want to be perfect. Maybe I don't want to be just like everyone else. Maybe I don't want to use in black and white anymore...maybe I want to use colour. Maybe I don't want to colour inside the lines.

So slowly, I begin to take out all my crayons, one by one. Red. Blue. Purple. Yellow. Green. Even the crazy ones. Turquoise. Chartreuse. Magenta. Cyan. Amber. One by one, I begin replacing the black and white with a rainbow, and all the things I've kept hidden begin to surface. I begin to colour outside the lines, harder and harder until the black lines that once kept me prisoner can't even be seen beneath the vibrancy.

There will still be days where I'll try to be perfect, and I'll end up failing once again. There will be days where the little voice in my head rises up and whispers, you're not enough. There will always be the days that I feel like I'm not someone worth loving. But that's okay, because when I see the stars, I'll remember. When I see the trees, I'll remember. When I see the snowflakes, I'll remember. I'll remember who I'm meant to be.

I may not be a perfect girl. Even so, I can look up in the sky and know that I was never meant to be perfect. I was only meant to be me.

Out in the Cold

2010-02-28T07:43:00.000-08:00

I recently had the opportunity to participate in a school event that was open to all members of the Social Justice Tribe to attend. We ended up having 13 participants in our "A Night Out in the Cold". Basically, we walked in the shoes of the homeless people in our city for a night. If you don't know what Out of the Cold is, it's an organization that brings the homeless out of the cold during the winter for the night, seven nights a week. Each night it is held at a different church. We went to experience that (on a different night as the actual homeless guests) and experience it we did. It seems like God was saying that we were going to have the full experience when He sent strong winds and cold temperatures for us on that night. Boy was it cold.

First, just as the homeless have to do, we went from our school all the way down to a building where we had to sign in. Each of us got a slip of paper that we kept in our pockets. Then we had to head from the building all the way up to the Church. To say the walk was grueling and tiring would be a massive understatement, and from the time we left the school to the time we arrived at the Church nearly two hours had passed of fast walking through deep snow (sometimes uphill).

Needless to say, by the time we reached the church, we were all very grateful for our food. It may have been the best meal I ever ate, because I was so hungry and tired. I think, at that moment, with the food defrosting my teeth, I really felt gratitude to actually have warm food to eat and a warm church to stay in. For a moment, I was staring out of a homeless person's eyes.

We had many moving speakers that evening, some of which were refugees who had come to Canada just two years before. It was nice to hear them tell their story of the hard things and good things they went through moving from Afghanistan to Canada. We also played a game, in which we were paired up and told what our make believe family was like (how many kids, who was employed, how much we made, etc etc). My family had an unemployed husband, two kids aged 5 and 8, and I worked at Tim Hortons making barely any money. When me and my partner looked at the page of expenses, we found we couldn't afford food for four people and shelter. We had to seek out food banks and welfare money. Then, we pulled out a card that told us that I had lost my job. That made both of us unemployed, with two children. Oh, and surprise...the next card we picked said "Congrats! You're having a new baby!" We ended up living on the streets in the middle of winter, both unemployed with two young children, me pregnant. Our misfortune was funny as we played the game, but we had to remember that there are actually people out there that have to live in similar situations. When I played that game, I appreciated the money that I have at home.

At night, we got hard, skinny mats to lie on a light blanket. We had to sleep in the same clothes we had worn all day, and wear them all day the next. We weren't provided with a pillow, just as the homeless aren't. My pillow that night was my hat and gloves. I woke up at 4 in the morning with an aching back, sore all over, and I really appreciated my wonderful, warm queen sized bed waiting for me back home. When I began violently shivering, I appreciated my normal thick comforter. And when my head lay on my hat, I really appreciated my fluffy pillow at home. When I walked to school through deep snow, so tired by the end I could barely breathe, I have to say I really started to appreciate the school bus.

When I went to school with my hair basically unbrushed and wearing the same clothes I had been in the day before, well, I began to appreciate washing machines, hairbrushes and all my choices of t-shirts. When I was falling asleep at recess because I barely had five hours of sleep the night before, I began to appreciate my quiet, warm home that enables me to go to bed early. When I ate my simple, brown paper bag lunch that Out of the Cold staff provided for me, I appreciated the variety of food that I usually get at school everyday. When my old, dirty clothes began to smell none too pleasant by the end of the day, I was very grateful for the shower I would be getting at home. When I got off the bus that night and actually got in the shower, I have to say it was the best shower I ever had. When I slept in my bed once again, it was the best night I ever slept. Even tofu pasta (gasp!) was a bit more bearable than it had been a few days before.

Maybe one day you'll have a chance to participate in an event such as this. Maybe you won't. But what I want to remember is this...we are so lucky. I know you've been told it hundreds of times. But when I was trudging through snow, my muscles screaming in protest, I really realized how lucky we are to have everything we do. Houses. Showers. Washing machines. Cars. Food. Clothing. I thank God for letting me live the life of a homeless person for a night. I thank God even more for having it be only one night, not the real thing. I appreciate everything I have so much more now. And for that, I thank God.

As you stare into your computer reading this, remember you are lucky. There are people outside on the streets with the biting wind tearing into their skin. It's not always their fault. They aren't all drug addicts or alcoholics. Some of them can't just get up and "get a job" for circumstances beyond their control. You can't always identify the homeless on the streets, because some of them hide themselves well. Some of them seem so normal, but they live a life so hard we can only begin to imagine them. The homeless are people, people who feel pain, love, and have beating hearts.

When I remember all this, I feel lucky. I feel lucky because we are lucky. Remember that.

Will You Be Mine

2010-02-12T06:21:00.000-08:00

Also, check out this beautiful post on the Shannon Primicerio blog...HERE.

In honour of Valentine's Day and the month of February, I want to write just one more post on the topic of love. Compared to the other two posts I've recently written, this one is a little different, but it may be the most important one yet.

There are many people out there who are a little sore over the mention of Valentine's day, because, well...they don't have a valentine. Without anyone to to send/send them roses and chocolates and all of those things, they sort of feel unwanted, and jealous of the girls/guys that have what they don't. In this month of love, sometimes we lose sight of the One who loves us far more than any girl or boy ever will.

There's someone out there who spend days making the most beautiful gifts on Earth for you. He worked hard and with barely any rest to bring you the most beautiful things in the world. That man is God, and he created the Earth for you, the mountains, the oceans, the beaches, the lakes, the forests, the fields, the cliffs and the skies. The moon, the sun, the stars. What better gift could that be?

And for flowers, they're everywhere. When God gives flowers, he doesn't go small. You see them in every doorway, every garden, every park and field. Even in the winter, you see them peaking through the windows of flower shops and houses. To think He created flowers for you.

And life. Life, with all it's opportunities, with family, friends and loved ones. The capacity to love, to feel joy, to smile, to cry, to laugh. He gave us all that, just because He loves us more than anything in His world.

God loves us so much He sent His son to Earth to die on the cross for us. He sent His son so we wouldn't bear the burdens of our sins on our lives. God's love truly is patient and kind. It never envies. It doesn't boast. It's not proud. It's never rude, never self seeking, and is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. It does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God's love never fails. (from; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Remember, you are surrounded in love. Surrounded by God's perfect love. And every day of your life, God asks you: will you be mine?

Count Your Blessings

2010-02-08T14:20:00.000-08:00

Count Your Blessings
Author Unknown

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.
Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.
Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.
Count your health instead of your wealth;
Count on God instead of yourself.

Father God, lift the heavy burdens off my heart and let me see this new day as You do. Give me strength to stand against the discouragement that weighs me down and help me defeat Satan's lies with praise to You for Your blessings. In Jesus' name, Amen.

A Real Woman, A Real Man

2010-02-07T14:52:00.000-08:00

Some beautiful bible quotes that show the characteristics of a "real man" and a "real woman".

A Real Woman

…appreciates her father’s protection, and respects and submits to his authority. In so doing, she is preparing herself to exercise the Biblical role in her relationship with a possible future husband. (Eph. 5:33-6:3, 1 Pe.r 3:1-2)

…is trustworthy and gains the respect of those around her. (Prov.31:11)

…is glad she’s a woman and rejoices in her femininity, expressing it through her attitude, appearance and bearing. (1 Tim. 2:9-10)

…encourages and builds up those around her instead of criticizing and tearing them down. (1 Thess. 5:11, Eph. 4:29)

…is not offended by respect shown her through gentlemanly courtesies (opening doors, etc.) but

cultivates the differences between the sexes that make her worthy of this deference. (1 Peter 3:7, Mark 10:6)

…realizes her imperative need to allow the Holy Spirit to control her emotions and expressions of them. (James 1:19-20)

…does not compete for equality with men or chafe at God’s design for male and female, but delights in and understand the importance of her calling to complement man’s role. (1 Tim.2:11-12, Eph. 5:22-24)

…does not wallow in self-pity or make a habit of voicing complaints, but radiates cheerfulness and joy. (Prov. 15:15, Prov. 17:22)

…portrays chastity, modesty and reverence in her manner, and wears the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is her true beauty. (1 Pet. 3:3-4, Titus 2:4-5)

…does not have a nagging, contentious or manipulative manner in which she deals with others. (Judges 16:16, Prov. 21:9, 19, 26:21)

…holds her virginity before marriage sacred and will not compromise it for anything. (This one for guys too!) (1 Tim. 5:22)

…uses her years of singleness to seek and serve God without distraction, and is content to leave the details of her future to Him. (Ps. 73:25, Phil. 4:11)

…values the cultivation of her mind and diligently seeks after wisdom and knowledge. (Prov. 22:17-21, 2:2-6)

…does not relate to members of the opposite sex in a flirtatious or forward manner, but instead saves all her passion for her future husband. (Thess. 4:3-8, Prov. 6:25, 1 Cor. 7:1)

…restrains herself from listening to, or participating in gossip, but instead speaks with wisdom and discretion. (Prov. 11:12-13, 22, 20:19, 3:11)

…is not boisterous or loud in her speech or actions but is characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit. (Prov. 9:13, 1 Pet. 3:4)

…seeks to make God her number one desire and the Lover of her soul, knowing that only He can fully satisfy. (Ps. 73:25, Ps. 63:1)

A Real Man

…can look a girl straight in the eye without communicating any impurity. (Prov. 20:11)

…doesn’t put others down with his actions, attitude, words, or his strength. But on the contrary, he affirms and builds others up. (Prov. 15:4, Eph. 4:29)

…doesn’t try to prove himself but is simply confident as he walks in the love of the Lord. (Prov. 14:26-27)

…not only respects but appreciates a young lady’s purity and innocence. In our culture innocence isn’t retained by accident. (2 Cor. 11:2-3)

…is kind because, “What is desirable in man is his kindness” (Prov. 19:22)

…can accept correction (Prov. 12:1, Prov. 29:1)

…doesn’t have long hair because it is a “woman’s glory.” A real man doesn’t desire to adorn himself with a woman’s glory. (1 Cor. 11:14-16)

…is mature in his emotions and his expressions of them. He can deal with the trials of life logically, with wisdom, not on a basis of emotional instability. (Prov. 14:29, Prov. 17:27, Prov. 12:18)

…shows by his actions that he loves children. (Matt. 19:13-14)

…values and carefully handles the scriptures. (2 Tim. 2:15)

…is pleasant and expresses joy rather than feeling that it’s masculine to be sullen. (Prov. 21:29, 1 Thess. 5:16)

…isn’t embarrassed to worship God and pray in a group setting. (Mark 8:38)

…understands the value of work and is financially responsible. (Col. 3:23-24, 2 Thess. 3:10-12, Luke 16:10-11)

…is wise, yet humble. (Prov. 2:1-10, 1 Pet. 5:5, Rom. 12:16)

…expresses himself with intelligent words rather than using “street talk” or swearing. (Prov. 17:20, Titus 2:6-8, 1 Pet. 4:11, Eph. 4:29)

…takes leadership in a self-sacrificing way. (Eph. 5:25-28)

…has no desire to be gross in order to impress other men. He doesn’t burp, swear, or tell disgusting stories. (Prov. 13:5, Eph. 5:4)

…isn’t ashamed to identify himself with his family (Eph. 6:2-3)

…doesn’t blame others for his own problems but embraces responsibility. (Prov. 12:27)

…treats his sisters and mother with as much respect as he would treat a prospective wife. (Matt. 25:21)

…doesn’t pride himself on being knowledgeable in the sinful ways of the world. (1 John 2:15-16, James 4:4, Phil. 4:8)

…is a gentleman. He is polite and shows women honor in everyday things such as opening doors, etc. (1 Pet. 3:7)

…values his purity as much as he values a young lady’s purity. He is not ashamed to live and act differently from the world in order to guard himself. (1 Thess. 4:1-8, Ecc. 7:26)

…understands and lives according to the basic purposes for which he was created: to worship, honor, and serve God. (Rom. 12:1-2)

Love

2010-01-26T17:19:00.000-08:00

Note from Laura: I received this beautiful story in a chain email many months ago. It's author is unknown.

It was a busy morning, about 8:30 , when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived at the hospital to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me,but I still know who she is.' I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Fearless

2010-01-09T09:04:00.000-08:00

Fear is a topic that I've wanted to write about for quite a while, but it seems like every time I sit down to begin I can't sort my thoughts out. There's so much I want to say, but I know that I have to figure out a way to say it without writing a two hundred page novel. I touched on the topic in "David and Goliath," one of the first posts I wrote on Perfect Love. If you'd like to read that post too, click HERE. But I still have more. More I want to say, especially because since November, I've changed and grown as a Christian in so many ways. God has given me just a little bit more wisdom at this time than I had at that time, and I hope that next month or even next year, I'll be able to say that all over again. As long as I listen, God keeps revealing to me just a little more each day.

You see, fear grips every person on this Earth at least one time in their life. Some unfortunate ones, like me, have felt the feeling of fear more often than not in their lives. I've always lived with the things I would like to do and the things I can do separated by a big, monstrous barrier that seemed so impossible to pass. Eventually I got used to the barrier, and grew to ignore it. I accepted the fact that this barrier was one that would not be crossed. But God is love, and "There is no fear is love, for perfect love casts out all fear." Fear does not belong to God. All this time I've been accepted something in my life that is not God's. Of course I know that I will never completely remove fear from my life. But no longer will I accept it.

You see, I had all these things in my mind that I just could not do. The biggest would have to be public speaking. I did it only when I was forced to, and I suffered through it, doing a very poor job. It was something to be survived. For weeks prior to my speech, I would be sick with worry, and when it was over, I would feel incredible again. It was not a pleasant ordeal, and we had to repeat it every year. Public speaking, for me, included drama. I was so scared to do drama I would tense up the second I heard it spoken. I hated drama. But on a crazy day, I agreed to enter a drama course to help me get over my fear. So I did. To make a long story short, I loved it. Drama was great. I especially liked Improv (short for improvisation) which was acting out a scene completely on the spot. It felt great, to know that I could do something that I always said I couldn't.

But see here, I still couldn't do drama at school. Or at least that's what I believed. It was as if my classmates were going to eat me, where as my peers at drama would not. My voice would be low and shaky, and it would be added to the list of the worse experiences of my life. Another thing beyond the barrier. Drama at school. Something I "just could not do". A couple weeks ago, we had to do improv in front of the class. My insides turned over. And I could only think of one thing to do...pray. "There is no fear in love, and perfect love casts out all fear." I repeated the verse in my head until I was breathing the words, and I was called to go up.

I gave it my all, and my classmates were amazed. I was a different person, right then. It was the first step forward. I had ripped a brick off my barrier and shattered in on the ground...with the help of God. It was incredible. Suddenly I realized what had been holding me back all these years. It wasn't the fear itself. It was me. You see, I expected the fear, and I accepted the fear. I allowed the fear in my life. I let it take control of me, let it tell me what I could or could not do. Now I wonder, what would have happened if I would have started out all those years ago saying "I can" instead of "I can't"?

Today, what I want you to take away is this. Don't allow fear to control you. I know what you think you can't do. Heck, I know that you THINK that you know you can't do it. It's all a lie. All this "can't possibly" stuff is one, big, fat lie. Take a deep breath. Feel God's presence. And go out there and do what you always thought you couldn't. It's not about winning. It's not about being gifted, talented, or amazing at whatever you thought you couldn't do. It's about casting fear out of your life. It's about letting God take control again, letting him gift you with peace. Stop saying "I can't" and start thinking "I can". As Craig Kielberger says, "It is possible."

Start listening, because all this time God's been cheering for you. He's been yelling at the top of his lungs, saying "you can, you can, you can!"

Thanks

2010-01-06T15:50:00.000-08:00

This post is based on an email that I received today. I don't usually write two posts so close together, but I thought that the message was really beautiful. The original writer of these words is unknown.

Thanks...for everything that God gives us abundantly - health, happiness, and prosperity.

Thanks...for the hard lessons that have helped me to know myself and others better.

Thanks...for the opportunities to cultivate patience, tolerance, and hope.

Thanks...for the failures I have stomached - they have taught me humility, the obligation to never sleep on my laurels, and the necessity to understand the failures of other people who, just like me, at times do need a helping hand.

Thanks...for multiple discoveries of reality and truth.

Thanks...for good things I've grasped and bad things I've dodged, for solutions I've found and talents I've grown, for victories I've earned and beautiful days I've had.

Thanks...for the parents who loved me and the friends I've met, the teachers who taught me and the books I've read, the journeys I've made and the meals I've had.

Thanks...for every beautiful feeling I've experienced, the times my heart was joyful, spontaneous, grateful, or filled with love.

Thanks...for the sceneries I've admired and the sun I've watched, the flowers I've gazed at and the air I've breathed.

Thanks...for the growing awareness that God is tending me despite my mistakes, protecting me despite my weaknesses, loving me despite my flaws, and finding solutions for me despite my stubbornness.

Thanks...for the joy oh so simple feeling that I am alive!

And thanks be to God...for every morning that I wake up to find yet another day to live and love. Thank you God for the breath of life!

Prove It

2010-01-05T13:36:00.000-08:00

This post is partly based on my own experiences, but also was inspired by the video "Stop and Think" on crazylovebook.com. See the video HERE.

People that don't believe in God can have very crazy reactions when you try to talk about Him. I was talking to an acquaintance the other day. For the sake of this blog post, let's call him Peter. Even though he's part of a Catholic school, I'm talking about God and he says, "You honestly believe that stuff? The whole Catholic thing?" I tell him that I do.

He made a few sarcastic comments and laughed it off, and we eventually got into a long discussion on the existence of God, living for God. I told him how in my opinion, without God, you take the purpose of your life away. If you want to sum it up, living with out God is pointless. I'm not saying the unsaved are worthless or living worthless lives...it's just that without God there is no destination. Since He made us, he put us on this Earth to serve HIM. As soon as we stray from that path and start chasing other things, well, the purpose to our life is gone. We're exploring a new world with no map. There is no destination.

Anyways, I was thinking that night at home about the existence of God and why it would be anything but obvious to someone that God really exists. You see, my friend Peter here seems to think that I'm a gullible, naive person who believes "bible stories" as he put it. He seems to think that he's above being tricked into that. "Why would you believe in something that's invisible, why would you live a life based on faith when you could live a life based on what's you can see and what you know is real?" And I was thinking...but I do. I do know that God's real. Just like the Bible says, there is NO excuse for not believing in God. Because the PROOF is around us! Please, just think for a second with me about this incredible world and try to still believe it's all an accident.

Okay. We're sitting on this giant ball that's spinning around and around at 1674 kilometers per hour. While this is happening, we're rotating at 107, 826 kilometers an hour around this big blazing ball of fire. So we're spinning around this blazing ball of fire that's 1,295,000 times the volume of our Earth, a and we have the nerve to say this was all an accident. If this Earth would stop spinning, everything attached would fly off the Earth, the speed depending on your latitude. Then there would be six months days and six month nights. It just shows that even if one small detail was different than it was our planet would not be able to sustain human life. There is no way that our Earth was all an accident. It's not possible. Not living on something this incredible.

Then there's us...humans. We laugh. We feel pain. We love. We hate. We have free will. We have knowledge. We can create things, we can destroy things. I mean, what IS THIS? We are finely tuned machines, but we choose how we behave and react. Our eyes can distinguish 16.7 million colors. We hear each other speak, and can communicate back. We speak many different languages. We breathe in this invisible stuff called air, and we can't live without it. I mean, can't you see that this is not an accident? This is amazing stuff here! Yet many people think that believing in a God in "illogical". I think it's even more illogical to believe that this incredible world happened by accident.

Hey, I invite you to pray for "Peter" with me. Yes, it's not his real name, but I'm quite sure God will know who you're talking about. Pray for him specifically, but also pray for all the other's who do not know the Lord. Or even pray for the lukewarm Christian's out there who believe in God but aren't willing to go all out. Either way, what a dark world that must be. Maybe you're a Christian that believes in God without a doubt. Or maybe you don't believe at all, or are a Christian having doubts. Look out your window. Go outside. Breathe a breath of air.

And remember, this place is amazing.

Dreams

2010-01-02T08:30:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year! It feels so strange to look at the finished post on this blog and see 2010 next to the date. It feels good, too! As much as I loved 2009, I always love a fresh start. It brings up so many new possibilities. I wish my readers all the best in this coming year...I hope it will be the most amazing yet.

I've been reading a book called, "Wide Awake" by Erwin Raphael McManus, and I thought that the focus of the book was a perfect topic to talk about in the New Year. I know you are all pumped up to achieve your goals and be this amazing perfect person this year...writing neatly in your school books and everything. It never lasts, does it? That's why I've come to talk about a much broader topic than "New Years Resolutions," because they almost always die.

I'm here to talk about dreams. In Grade 6, we had to write journal entries in a school book every week and have them marked. Most weeks we were assigned a topic, and it was very hard to get anything above a seven or eight out of ten. A nine happened, but not that much, and when you got one you were all proud and you strutted around the classroom silently about your achievement. (Or, if you're like some people I know, you told everyone you possibly could). Anyways, that's not what I'm here to talk about. What I want to say is on one of the "free choice" journal entry days, I wrote a journal entry about dreams. I'm not sure what compelled me to write about them...it was just something I felt I should do.

I think God put a little nugget of understanding about the concept of dreams in my mind, even back a few years, because when I got that journal entry back it was marked a ten out of ten. The teacher told me she had never given a ten before. I'm not here to brag, not at all...there's nothing to brag about. It was a God inspired thing, that journal entry, and that's why it stood out so much to be a ten. I've always had a fascination with dreams..."not as in the sleepy kind of dreams" as I wrote back then in Grade 6, "but the goal kind of dreams." I've always wanted to discover more about why some people achieve their dreams and others don't. Is it lack of willpower, reason, or is it fate? What's the reason some people have amazing things happen and other's just simply...flop?

I think it all ties down to one thing...whether or not it was a God given dream or not. God given dreams always glorify Him in the end. I was reading about a woman (namely Shannon Kubiak Primicerio) who wanted to be an actress and a singer when she was young. She turned out a an amazing writer. I'm not saying that being an actor or a singer can never be a Godly career...I'm just saying in her case, it wasn't. Being an actor or a singer was all about the glory SHE could get, not the glory she could give to God. That's why her dreams fell through the cracks. That's why she failed. And I think that holds true to every dream that anyone has ever had.

So right now, I invite you to pray to God. Really pray. I mean, just talk. Don't say the "Our Father" or the "Glory Be". I mean just have a heart to heart discussion with the Creator. Tell him that you want to follow His path for you. Ask him to help you discover His dream for your life. Maybe He thinks you aren't ready to discover His plans for you...sometimes you have to be at a certain point in your faith and life before God thinks you are mature enough to know. But trust in God's timing. Ask Him right now, tell Him that you are ready to give your best to Him and that your life is in His hands.

Maybe you've had a dream in your mind for a long time, but it seems to big. Remember that nothing is too big for God. Maybe you have a dream in your head, but you don't want to use it for God's glory. That means God has a bit of revision to do. Shape yourself into a Godly person, and He will reveal to you His dream. I will close with a few lines from that journal entry that God inspired in me that humble Grade Six day.

"The world would be nowhere without dreams. If someone didn't dream of a day that women would be equal to men, who knows what limited rights we'd still have. If no one dreamed that Canada would be a democratic society, maybe we wouldn't be free. Maybe, if God didn't dream of making this beautiful earth, I wouldn't be sitting here at my desk, writing. None of us would be. Because dreams are like a road...you don't just sit there and look at them, you walk. With dreams, we can reach for the stars - maybe one day, with everyone helping out, each of us can make the world again what God meant for it to be."

Don't just start dreaming. Let God dream in you.

I Will Dance

2009-12-28T19:32:00.000-08:00

There are times in life where you experience something...whether it be something you read, heard, or saw...that changes the way you think about life profoundly. Maybe it was something you never expected to find, something that happened seemingly by accident. Maybe it was something that you had been searching for and only recently had revealed to you. For me, it was something hidden in plain sight...the truth that would set me free from the only thing that's been holding me back in my walk with God.

This Christmas, I was given a book called "The Divine Dance," by Shannon Kubiak Primicerio. I knew it was going to be an amazing book, because I had read an excerpt of it about a year ago. What I didn't know was the impact this book was going to have on me, right down to the way that I live for God. The book compares the world to a stage, and life to a dance...it begs the question, who are you dancing for? Today, God called me off of the world's stage. He invited me to stop wanting to know Him while dancing for the world. Today, God spoke to me through a book and told me that I've been dancing to the wrong song. All this time, I've been yearning for the world's applause, when the Father has been calling for me, waiting with open arms.

You see, I have been a Christian all my life, but the first time my faith became real to me was when I was nearly twelve years old. These past two years have been filled with discovery, longing, trying, failing, searching, and somehow, still not comprehending...or understanding...God's love for me. I have been seeking, I have been praying, and I have been pursuing God, all while dancing upon the wrong stage. "God, I want to know you more," I've been saying...yet I face my audience, searching for the world's applause. I have been told that being worldly and godly at the same time is not uncomfortable...it's impossible. I know this. It's just that sometimes, I can be deaf, and sometimes, I can be blind. God hides in plain sight, and I've been pretty good at ignoring him. I wince at all the failures I've faced just because of ignoring God's loving arms.

I have struggled all my life with a mental block that has severely hindered my relationship with God...fear. Fear, shyness, anxiety, lack of confidence. You can call it what ever you want to, but all my life I've been what they call a wall flower. I have always preferred to watch rather than to be involved, because getting involved means baring myself to the world, and baring myself makes me vulnerable. When I am vulnerable, I can be hurt by those that I yearn to accept me. Fear has held me back from pursuing the God that I love, and I won't let it anymore. I have winced once too many at the world's boos. Officially, today, I'm completely on God's side, and I will dance for Him.

I've cookie cut myself in so many ways that I've nearly lost myself...I struggle with remembering who I am. This is my new journey, the new chapter in my life, my dance. To seek God with all my heart, to dance for Him and only Him, to dance with Him, and to never be anything other than myself ever again. Because if God made me, gave me my gifts, my looks, sculpted me from nothing, I will not defy him by saying that I am not good enough. Now I can see that.

God's love has found me...He found me many years ago, but there was still something missing. I told him, "Here I am, Lord," but there was a part of me that stayed removed, that still fought for my old place in the world. There was still a part of me, all this time, that was allured by the world's music. No longer.

Once again, I feel the fire. I want to dance, dance, dance to God's song for me. I may be confused, and I may not know where I am headed, but God's hands are on my shoulder's now. He will teach me the steps to the dance, slowly, carefully, until I have mastered them. I may fail...I will fail, sometime or another. But not failing has never been the point. The point is to give myself to Him. All of myself. Through and through.

There are times in your life where you experience something life changing. Suddenly, you understand what you have never understood. You feel what you have never felt. Somewhere, deep down, you had been searching, but you never ever let yourself know. Sometimes you find the answer that you never knew you were seeking, and more often then not, your answer hides in plain sight.

Come with me. I invite you to stop dancing for the world, and to dance for the One that cared all along. Clothe yourself in love, faith, hope, and beauty...and dance.

Honestly?

2009-12-26T12:16:00.001-08:00

For my whole life, I have always thought of honesty in the terms of “telling the truth”. I always thought it meant telling it how it was, or not cheating on a test. It meant telling your parents when you are on MSN when you should be doing your homework, and not ripping people off when you sell stuff on EBay. All my life I thought honesty only have one meaning, and today I found differently.

I was reading the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens” by Sean Covey. (It’s an amazing book, by the way, and if you can, you should get your hands on a copy.) Anyways, I was reading, and Sean Covey said something that really blew my mind.

“Honesty means appearing to others as you really are. It means not being fake or trying to pass yourself for someone you are not.” –Sean Covey

Suddenly, honesty had taken on a whole new meaning. ‘You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour,’ or, ‘You shall not lie’. Suddenly, I realized this doesn’t just apply to what you say, it applies to who you are. When you pretend you are less intelligent then you really are, you are lying. When you tell someone you don’t like a certain type of music because you know they think that type of music is stupid, you are lying. When you deny yourself to fit in with the crowd, you are lying.

Maybe you should take a moment and think about who you are. I’m talking about going past guilt, fear, shame, and embarrassment…I’m talking about who you are in your room, dancing around to the music you only turn on when your friends are all at home. I’m talking about who you are when you sing in the shower, who you would be if you were not afraid.

Think about it, and take another good look at who you pretend to be. Think about who you are deep inside your heart…honestly.

Mary Did You Know

2009-12-21T09:52:00.000-08:00

I titled this post "Mary Did You Know" after an absolutely beautiful song that is sung by many different artists, in many different versions. I particularly like the Kutless version. Anyways, the song mainly asks Mary if she knew all that her baby boy (Jesus) was going to do. Did she know he was going to change the world, leave a mark that would still be there 2000 years later? Did she know that descendants of her family would still quote his words, so far into the future? It got me wondering about Mary, and how she felt going through the journey we call "The Birth of Jesus". And everything that came after that.

Can you imagine how Mary must have felt the day the angel told her she was to bear a son? She would have only been around the age of 14 to 16, and she must have felt confusion, fear, and doubt at the angels words. First of all, she was engaged to a man named Joseph. All marriages back then were arranged, and when you were engaged, you were considered married. That made the rules very strict. Even though Mary had never been with a man and the baby had been given to her by God, you can imagine what everyone would have thought. Here she is, engaged, and now she's pregnant...and Joseph knows he was not the father. Her village would bring her ultimate shame, most likely. And her fiance, Joseph, would have the right to charge her with adultery and stone her to death.

So this is all on Mary's mind now with this angel in the room. She's probably thinking, "Here I am God...but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE pick somebody else." She didn't say that, though. No, she braved through her fears and told the angel that if this was the Lord's will, she would do whatever He needed her to do. And she did.

Luckily, God took care of Joseph and sent him a message too, so Mary was not stoned to death. I am sure she was shamed by her village, but not much can be helped in that sense. Her parents were probably horrified, but since she was delivering God into the world, I am sure that gave her strength. And then it causes me to wonder...Mary, did you KNOW? Did you know what your baby would do? Did it come as comfort in the long, hard nights on the back of a donkey...that your baby would heal the sick? Cast demons away? Cause the blind to see, the deaf to hear, the lame to walk, to mute to sing? When you cried out in pain in the delivery, the hardships of pregnancy wearing down your young body, did you think, I am now birthing the Savior, the answer to the world's troubles and fears?

Mary should be a beacon of hope to all of us. She suffered under hardship, ridicule, disbelieving stares, and shunning of those who loved her...she traveled pregnant to Bethlehem on the back of a donkey, and after just giving birth to her baby, fled to Egypt to save his life. She did this all because God asked her too, and because she knew that was His will for her...she had enough good sense to listen to the thundering voice above.

Now, I know you're probably thinking that you've never had an experience like that, with an angel arriving at your door. Surely you would have listened if you did, right? But what about all the times that God's thundering voice was a mere whisper? The time you felt this tugging sensation that you should do something, but you were too scared? Or too embarrassed? Or had a "reputation to uphold"? What about the times you chose to be blind to what was right in front of your face, saying it was "none of your business?" Think of Mary. She listened to God and did all that he asked, even when the tasks seemed impossible, crazy, or too painful to bear. Even when her family glared, her friends retreated, and her husband doubted, she listened. She listened to God's voice, when he was loud, and when he was quiet.

So next time you are ignoring God's whispers, think of Mary. Think of her faith, hope, and determination. Think of the way she persevered to the end, trusting that God would be by her side in every moment. And...He was.

Even For The Snowflakes

2009-12-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

The Christmas season always gets me thinking....mostly about topics that range from the birth of Christ to why God would make the world so darn cold for so much of the year. I have always been a winter-hater, one of those people that are relatively happy until the snow and ice hits. It's like as soon as the world turns cold, all the winter-haters hearts turn cold too. That's definitely me. It's funny that such a warm season like Christmas hasn't thawed me up to winter these past thirteen years.

I have to say, though, that this year has been different. I've been able to experience the winter like I never have before. It pains me to say it...but I have to say I'm actually enjoying winter. I am no longer a winter hater...I'm an ex-winter hater, and I don't think I'll ever go back to the way I was before. An unpleasant season of winter coats and scarves has become something else to me: beautiful. All this time, I was blinded by my greed and longing, and I had failed to see the sheer incredible work of God in winter. How every snow flake is unique. How the snow creates a blanket on rooftops. Little chickadees in the snow laden trees. The way children's eyes shine when as they await the coming of Santa Claus.

And I know you've probably been told this an endless amount of times...but it's not only Santa Claus who we're celebrating on Christmas. It's the coming of Jesus Christ. So how in the world did I ever hate the season in which our Lord was born? It seems to alien to me now. But as I've been thinking, I've realized that this winter season has brought me many things. A new appreciation of Jesus and his birth, maybe, but also happiness. No, there hasn't been a major change in my life...things are just as they were before. But there has been a major change in side of me. I am grateful. More then anything, I am grateful. And I'm thanking God for everything...even winter!

So the message I want you to get today is not just about Christmas, or even winter...it's about gratitude, and happiness. We have so much, and yet we always want more, and somehow we think that recieving will make us happy. And it does, but only for a little while...after that, the temporary glow fades away. Thanking God for everything, even the snowflakes...well, that causes fire in the heart that will not fade.

The Room by Joshua Harris

2009-12-13T09:01:00.000-08:00

This powerful piece of writing needs no introduction...when I first read it, it brought tears to my eyes. After you read this, maybe you'll understand a mere fraction of how much Jesus loves you .

I present you "The Room" by Joshua Harris

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

Servant of All

2009-12-08T15:57:00.000-08:00

I was at school the other day feeling sorry for myself for many reasons, but the main one had to do roughly with the Social Justice team at my school. I was sitting there, hearing two Grade 8 "leaders" being showered in praise over the "leadership skills that they've showed." I was also being told that the other Grade 8's should try to be more like them in a very soft, unsuspecting way. "Maybe that's something some of you other kids could work towards and strive to be."

So first of all, let me make it clear that I'm not knocking those two Grade 8s. Far from it. I do think that those two Grade 8's are great leaders, and they are certainly the most talented speakers in the group and have made the work load on the rest of us a lot easier by taking a normally unpleasant task and doing it with ease. I think it's great that they're doing this, great that they've gotten more interest in our school by giving a talk to the Rotary Club in our city...I think it's all wonderful. What I was mad about at the time was the lack of appreciation for other gifts.

I enjoy Social Justice because I love to help people...it's a great group of people, all putting our gifts and talents together to raise money and make a real change for people across the world less fortunate then us. As you might have guessed, my real talent is writing...and they definitely get use out of it. But other then a fleeting few seconds of praise for my newsletter, I don't really get much credit for writing information notices and flyers, things that are the dirtier work of the Team and definitely aren't that much fun, though I do not at all mind doing them.

Now public speakers...THEY are appreciated. THEY are glorified. They get all the attention. THEY are the passionate leaders who work so hard to make a difference. And I'm not saying these things aren't true... they are some of these things, for sure...but that's not the issue. So here I was feeling sorry for myself about all this...I was angry that I didn't get any attention for what I did. I was angry that I was being a servant when others were being served. I felt I deserved more. And then we got to religion class.

We were reading through the Lenten devotions when we came to Mark 9:35.

"And he sat down, and called the twelve, and said unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all." Mark 9:35, KJV"

What the verse is saying is that if you want to be glorified, if you want to be first, you must first be last, and you must first be a servant to all people. Just as Jesus did when he came down to Earth in the lowest form...a human. He came in the lowest form of human...a baby. Then he dedicated his life to serving, and his problem wasn't that people didn't appreciate what he did...his problem was they hated him for it. Jesus was killed for doing what needed to be done, but he didn't care. He was doing this for the Lord.

So if you are angry about losing your volleyball game or getting no credit for washing the black boards at recess, think of Jesus. Think of Jesus doing the lowest thing he could...washing the feet of his disciples. Think of Jesus hanging on the cross, crucified by those he came to save. And over all, remember, that if any man desire to be first, the same man shall be last of all, and servant of all people.

The Motions

2009-12-02T10:16:00.000-08:00

"This might hurt, it’s not safe, but I know that I’ve gotta make a change. I don’t care, if I break, at least I’ll be feeling something. ‘Cause just okay is not enough, help me fight through the nothingness of life...I don’t wanna go through the motions, I don’t wanna go one more day, without Your all consuming passion inside of me. I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking, what if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions." - Matthew West, The Motions

Life can be tiring...life can drag on. Even if we have given our lives to Christ, we find ourselves taking shot cuts. We pray every night, read the bible every day, but something just isn't right. Our hearts have lost the wild fire that they all had when we began this "Christian thing". Something in us has died, or been lost, amongst the To-Do lists and extra-curricular activities of day to day life. The world has got us down. Now, I'm not going going to go into a speech about how "Jesus is the only way" and "happiness can only be found through God". Both of those things are true, but that's not the point I'm trying to make. What I want to say is more simple then that, but no more or less important...you have to give it your all. Whatever you believe in has to be the centre of your life. Otherwise you'll just keep falling.

There was a quote I once heard, and though I don't remember who wrote it, it went something like this..."If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything." The something you SHOULD be standing for is Jesus...because he is the right way. God is the way, the one way ,and the only way, which doesn't seem to fit in this "do as you please" world. We live in a culture of "one million right ways" which sometimes throws us off. 2 + 2 = 4. It does not equal 3, it does not equal 6. Our school textbooks do not tell us to "find what answer works for you." There is one answer and that answer is 4. Just like there is one answer to life, and that answer is Jesus Christ. Nothing else.

But when we decide that Jesus is the way of our lives, Jesus has the wheel, Jesus is in control...sometimes we don't mean it. Or we mean it and we slowly fade back into our old selves, we forget, piece by piece, thought by thought, word by word. Then we look back and suddenly realize that Jesus is the farthest thing from our mind. Because it doesn't matter how much you DO for Christ...bible reading, prayer saying...if you don't do it with heart, it means nothing. That's the message I'm trying to get out to day.

You have to give it your all. You can't sit on the fence. You have to come off the fence on one side or the other. You have to create fire in your heart for Christ, get excited, and destroy your fears...you have to have courage, hope, and faith. You have to throw yourself so far into this "Christian thing" that is becomes your life, nothing more said. Because as Matthew West says, "Just okay is not enough". We crave happiness, we crave something real and the only way to get that is to give it your all.

Tell yourself that you have a DREAM. That you are EXCITED. And that you are NOT AFRAID. Today is the day to change. Today is the day to stop going through the motions. Today is the day to give EVERYTHING TO GOD.

How do you know your heart is on fire for Christ? I'll leave that up to you to decide. God will tell you when you're there, if you put your faith in Him. But a good rule of thumb to go by is this...you know when your hearts on fire when everyone around you can feel it's glow.